Fatigue mask seems cool, until you're just spending 7 extra hours a day procrastinating doing the thing you thought you'd use all this extra time to achieve.

The glasses are OP. With them, nobody can even be mad at you for all the procrastination.

The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch

The mask, the penny, and (depending on how hand-wavey you get) the glasses, are on a different power level than the other two.

7 extra hours of life per day, at full rest?

On demand money(gambling), or better(anything else, like applying at a school), though unreliably, once a month?

Auto-navigate to your desired outcome when other people are involved?

Yeah, life-breaking shit

Ok, the mask if you are actually rested and not just "feeling rested". Being hit with the physical effects of sleep deprivation and having organs start failing after a couple weeks would be a real problem.

Otherwise, that damn penny. Knowing that I have 12 hours of "I win" without any real limitation, even if it ends up being 12 hrs/month, would be obscenely broken. None of the other artifacts even come close. I make sure I always flip on a Monday at about 8am, if it's heads, I apply for jobs I want and trade some stocks until about 1 pm, then go for a walk and see what goodness I can fall into for my life. Head home around 6pm with 2 hours of perfect luck left which I spend working on the cure for Autoimmune diseases and Cancer. Once I have enough wealth built up and have found plenty of cures to Salk the hell our of to piss off the pharma companies, I start working on Nuclear Fusion. Continue this pattern until I get bored.

The coin, because I can flip every two weeks to attempt total world domination, and it has a pretty high chance of succeeding somehow. Or just more mundane things like flipping to win the jackpot.

The slick talker glasses are also pretty overpowered, you can achieve much the same as with the penny if you can just give a quick speech and everyone in the room either tries to fuck you or be you five minutes later.

But my heart is with the quick sleeper mask, I’m never really rested after waking up and also procrastinate going to bed all the time. Getting a full rest in one hour sounds like the dream

Coin

Look, the glasses are nice and all, but they don't give you a 50% change to win the lottery and randomly realise a way to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis every two weeks

I wonder how this works with elections. In my country, the votes are counted within 12 hours. When I'm voting on a party, I am attempting to make said party the largest one. Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?

Edit: oh shit, it's not 50% chance, but 100% after it came into effect once. The first time it lands on heads, try to guess the next flip's outcome by guessing it would be heads. Since the coin is in effect, this guess is correct, even though the next coin will only be flipped in two weeks

In other words, the coin just gives you reality warping for halve a day every two weeks

The sleep mask looks like the obvious bet. Have you ever been awake for 20 hours straight? It's not debilitating, but after about 18 I start getting woozy. I'm gonna go with it anyway, because even if I take the penny and win the lottery, the one thing money can't buy is time

The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)

Get fatigue mask.

Work out until completely destroyed

Put on mask

Wake up refreshed

Rinse repeat until I can crush stones between fingers

Dig a lithium mine by hand

Dominate the battery market and develop affordable electric vehicles

Use money to build large tubes

Use personal strength to javalin throw that shit into space

Get obscenely rich

Buy facebook actually make it better

Change name legally to: Fuck you Elon Musk

23 hours a day instead of 16 to 19 seems real good. That's like living considerably longer.

I'll do you one better and rank these instead.

1. Lucky Penny
2. Caffeinated shoes
3. Fatigue masking mask
4. Frying pan of flavor
5. The cool glasses
6. Underwear of febreze

I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.

Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn't choose it. It's also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.

Will the sleep mask make me well rested or the regular not rested I usually get from sleeping 8 hours?

I don't know, the shoes are pretty tempting. I can Sprint at about 10 miles an hour for about 30 seconds right now. Multiplying those by 5 would let me Sprint at 50 miles an hour for two and a half minutes.

I would be the closest thing the real world has to having the flash, or you know kind of like an overweight Sonic the hedgehog

Couldn't you use the penny and just attempt to find the cure for death? It makes everything else silly.

If I equip the shoes and the frying pan, I can RP as the scout from tf2.

Does the underwear cover basic grooming and self care? I.e. do I still need to trim my fingernails, shave, apply sunscreen?

What about the health benefits of staying clean? I mean nice breath is fine, but if I stop brushing will I get cavities? If I get a cut, do I still need to clean the wound to avoid infection?

We need scales, is +100 luck = maximum luck? Or is it a logarithmic scale? We need context here.

No one's asking the important question:

Why is the penny silver?

Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.

You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.

12 hours of solid fucking global mayhem every two weeks on a 50/50?! I’m patient. I’ll take the lucky penny.

Easily the penny. The mask is tempting to have more time in my day but I can just gamble and make a ton of money meaning I wouldn't have to work. It would also help with a ton of other stuff.

Fatigue Mask OP. I'll take 2.

If I had to put these on a personal tier list

S Tier:

• Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.

• Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you're productive this is the artifact to go for.

? Tier:

• Caffeinated Shoes - This item is either moderately (C) to insanely (A) useful depending on its limitations. If you can skim across entire oceans at superhuman speed then that's massive. If you lack superhuman reflexes and will get splattered into a fine bloody mist from colliding with anything then it becomes a lot less useful.

B Tier:

• Frying Pan of Flavor Town - Unless it's a massive cast iron pan, don't expect to be opening up restaurants with it. It's best reserved for your own nutrition and impressing guests with your cooking.

C Tier:

• Lucky Penny - A 50% chance of having incredible luck for twelve hours once every fortnight seems great, but the cooldown is prohibitive. Also, unless RNGesus has bad luck protection, there is an incredibly slim chance that none of the 2000 or so times you get to use this item will yield any changes. Also, good luck can still wear off after those twelve hours.

D Tier:

• Underwear of Fe'Breeze - Personal hygiene doesn't take up much time, and with the right environment and lifestyle you can easily build up a habit. This one is just the least useful.

All these people out here making these posts, but do any of you ever work on creating the things you're telling me about? Noooooooo.

Gimme my damned magic sleep mask and penny, dammit!

As someone who's continuously tired after tanking mono and COVID, I'll take the mask. Heck, I'd even take it if it gave me 8 hours of restful sleep. Just anything to wake up and feel rested for a while

The fatigue mask makes the underwear irrelevant. If I have an extra 7 hours in a day, I can spend some of that showering. You'd essentially gain an extra 3.5 months every year in additional time, plus you'd never be tired for any of it. There's a lot I could do with that time.

The Pan is questionably useful. Delicious food is cool, but has limited use with the cooldown. If I wanted to start a restaurant or something, could I only cook 3 delicious meals in a day? Or does "while in use" mean I could use it to continuously cook for 8 hours? If so, you could run a 3 star Michelin restaurant.

The shoes also seem limited to me. I can only use it until my stamina runs out? My stamina is already so low that 5x isn't even that much. I suppose I could use them to win the Olympics without training, but would they count as a violation? I really don't want to get involved in the underground track and field ring.

The glasses are very useful, lots of ways to find success if you know your way around networking. Being able to talk your way into or out of anything could get you crazy money, power, success, etc. in whatever you choose to do.

The penny is also mad useful. It essentially covers the abilities of all other items, albeit with a massive cooldown. Even still having an entire day of things going your way 26 times a year is an insane amount. You could win the lottery, start and sell successful businesses, find the love of your life, whatever, as long as you can make it happen in 12 hours.

I think it really comes down to the mask, the glasses or the penny. The mask really appeals to the tired part of me, but it doesn't really give you any superhuman abilities, just extra time to be normal, and I'd probably just waste it anyway. And while the glasses would be useful daily, you'd still have to do a lot of work to get yourself into important social situations to make use of it. Essentially your job would become networking. With the penny, I really think I could use its power to get myself into those situations by sheer luck, and then also have them go my way, by luck. I think I could end up making as much progress in those 12 hours as I could with 2 weeks of the glasses. Plus with the money I win from the lottery, I could fund projects faster instead of having to talk my way into funding.

I'm gonna go with the penny.

I wonder if the underwear also works if the user gets splashed with neurotoxin or hit by a wave of radiation. I know theres gotta be a clear cutoff but I'm not sure where it is.

Don't get me wrong, running faster than Usain Bolt seems cool, too. The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.

The penny for sure. The mask might give you 7 more hours but the penny gives you 8, if you use it for money.

The glasses could be nice, but that depends wholly on the value system. Is charisma naturally rated 1 to 10? +35 is awesome! On a scale from 1 to 1000 not so much.

I already have the frying pan

I kinda like the skillet. I hate cooking, so can I just throw some chicken breast in there and some vegetables and then come back to a delicious meal?

I know others have loopholes, but using the loopholes ruins the fun.

The shoes are probably worthless to most folks, +400% stamina isn't a whole lot when you only have 1 stamina. Would they work during sex? You're faster, but also last longer?

I'd probably take the mask, just because that's what would benefit me the most right now.

Definitely the underwear. I have the opposite of whatever gene SE Asians have that makes you have no BO. No matter what I do, my BO can defeat any deodorant in ~6h.