164
This is the second TIL about obscure incel information posted by this account in the past few days. What's with the incel research, Don?
Maybe Don Dickle isn't getting their Dickel Donned
As a woman i was wondering about the root causes of it and if it can be stopped because I have a feeling that some Incels will take out their hate for women on a woman.
IMO, The best way to stop it would be to find ways for men to stop being attracted to women and desiring a romantic/sexual relationship. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much research around that.
OR we could teach people about respect and human decency...
It is often said that “facts don’t care about feelings”, unfortunately, the reverse is also true: feelings don’t care about facts. I rationally know that I should respect women’s rights to not have undesirable men be attracted to them, but I still feel the attraction and don’t know how to deal with it.
Fair point, but there is a simple solution. Learn how to deal with it. Learn self control. Let that rational part of your mind do the driving.
Do you have any resources on that? All the ones I’ve found suggest that feelings of attraction are hard-wired into the brain and getting rid of them is impossible.
I'm not saying to get rid of them, I'm saying to exercise self control so you don't act on them. I dunno about resources on that, my dude. It's just kind of a necessity to be a responsible adult.
If by “acting on them” you mean staring, catcalling, asking out, etc. I’m already trying my best to not do that. I’d say I’m quite successful at it, though in crowded spaces it’s often difficult to find a direction to look in that doesn’t contain a woman. And my mom sometimes tells me that I should look at and approach women, so there’s social pressure too.
However, what draws people to incel spaces is the sadness that comes from seeing couples in public or among your friends and knowing that you’ll never experience what they’re doing. Unless I’m misunderstanding, I don’t think what you’re suggesting helps with that.
I can acknowledge that you're partially correct. What I was suggesting was geared towards preventing people from acting in negative impulses. Basically, your brain thinking "no, don't do creepy shit."
But with your example, exercising rationality actually would help, because "the sadness that comes from seeing couples in public or among your friends and knowing that you’ll never experience what they’re doing" is actually an irrational thought.
There's no reason to assume this is actually the case. It's a self fulfilling prophecy that's easily dispelled by recognizing that you're actually capable of having that experience. Some proper therapy can help replace those intrusive thoughts with more empowering ones!
Edit: fixed an autocorrect issue that changed my intended meaning. Sorry.
First off, thank you for engaging critically with my comments rather than dismissing them :) I apologize for the delayed response, I had to sort my thoughts about this.
Basically, your brain thinking "no, don't do creepy shit."
But with your example, exercising rationality actually would help, because "the sadness that comes from seeing couples in public or among your friends and knowing that you’ll never experience what they’re doing" is actually an irrational thought.
Isn’t it kind of an example of what you stated in the previous paragraph? By acknowledging that women don’t see me as a potential partner, my brain is preventing me from hurting women by showing my romantic interest. While I could try to combat this thought, it would not be in the best interest of others.
On the contrary, wanting a partner is an irrational thought because it ultimately comes from the natural instinct to reproduce. Hypothetically, if I were asexual, I could just live a fulfilling life alone and everyone would be better off.
That's because the shift between the V sound and the S sound is very awkward. When that kind of shift is awkward, dropping one of the sounds entirely (usually the first one) is common.
- Salmon (although there are pockets of people who still pronounce the "l")
- Receipt
- Schedule (was originally pronounced with a "s-ch" combination, now is "sk" in America and "sh" in the UK)
There's plenty of common English words that have also changed spelling to go along with that pronunciation, though I can't recall any at the moment.
Edit: Thought of one: Donut. Yes, the "old-timey" spelling was "doughnut," and is still found in relatively common use. Long ago that "gh" in there was pronounced like a "phlegmmy 'h'." As that sound fell out of use, it eventually fell completely out of the word "donut."
You mean to tell me we were supposed to pronounce the "p" in receipt?
Long ago, yes.
I really hope your wife is named Caramel.
In the UK it is pronounced ca-ra-mel.
But would that be pronounced care-a-mell or car-mall?
Care-mel obviously.
Salmon (although there are pockets of people who still pronounce the “l”)
See, this is a weird one, because I don't know anybody who pronounces the "L" here, but calm, balm, or psalm you would.
Some people make up an L in "both" and pronounce it "bolth". Like an ass.
Or an r in wash. Warsh, or Warshington.
Psalm, yes. But "calm" or "balm" are actually pronounced more like "caam" or "baam" in many situations.
Like psaam.
That’s because the shift between the V sound and the S sound is very awkward.
So you're telling me the original Invcel term couldn't get anyone to accept it?
Isn't that the ultimate irony?
Wait... What? I'm not supposed to pronounce the l in salmon?
Or folk, or yolk
🤯
So basically L before consonants is generally mute?
I wouldn't say so - I can think of several counter examples off the top of my head: mold, wild, kiln
It's generally only l before m, and b after m. So no l sound in salmon or calm, but there is in solve. Oddly, there's no l sound in salve. Likewise, there is no trailing b sound in bomb, dumb, or lamb. Of course, it's important to remember this is English, where the exceptions outnumber the rules, which is expected when you mash three languages together with a sprinkling of the rest of the languages.
You can pronounce the L in both of those cases, and many people do.
I think it depends on the person/region you live in. The "l" in salmon was probably originally intended to b pronounced, but linguistic shift has dropped the "l" in some areas.
It's not as simple as shedule in the UK, skedule in the US. For example, in my part of the UK it's pronounced skedule too
Pronouncing schedule like s-chedule is really fun. Not sure I know of any English words that have those two phonemes next to each other
The last one is like you took the word chess and put it in a blender. S-chematic, s-chtick, s-cheme, s-cholar...
It's nuts to me that the incel movement was started by a woman.
I was around back when the Red Pill subreddit was first getting off the ground. It used to be quite sane, a safe space for men. Venting was allowed, but misogyny was not (in a similar way to how you put up with a woman saying "all men are trash" when she's in the post breakup anger phase). But eventually, the tidal wave of misogynistic men overthrew the sane ones, and it became what it's known for now.
Why are people speaking of incels as if that's some kind of club you need to apply for membership? Isn't it by definition something you're part of against your own will? That's like talking about people under 6ft tall as some sort of secret society plotting the takeover of the world.
It really has nothing to do with whether or not they can have sex. That's just a pretense for really fucked up ideas about sex, relationships, and women as a whole.
Being incel isn't just about not getting laid...the important part is blaming everyone else for it. The term then gets co-opted as the people who blame everyone else for not getting laid.
I think it's like racists. Whether one wants to be one or not is not tied with being one or not. That doesn't mean they all have one secret handshake
Lots of them do like to flock with other racists, though. And follow racist speech online. It's kind of an emergent club in a way.
As with any shared POV
Invcel, indivisible imbecile.
is it me or does this not work on either end
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
164 points (94.1% liked)
Today I Learned
17282 readers
135 users here now
What did you learn today? Share it with us!
We learn something new every day. This is a community dedicated to informing each other and helping to spread knowledge.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must begin with TIL. Linking to a source of info is optional, but highly recommended as it helps to spark discussion.
** Posts must be about an actual fact that you have learned, but it doesn't matter if you learned it today. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.**
Rule 2- Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Posts and comments which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding non-TIL posts.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-TIL posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
Rule 7- You can't harass or disturb other members.
If you vocally harass or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
For further explanation, clarification and feedback about this rule, you may follow this link.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Unless included in our Whitelist for Bots, your bot will not be allowed to participate in this community. To have your bot whitelisted, please contact the moderators for a short review.
Partnered Communities
You can view our partnered communities list by following this link. To partner with our community and be included, you are free to message the moderators or comment on a pinned post.
Community Moderation
For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time, or simply shoot a message to the current moderators.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS