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submitted 1 year ago by HunkyBrewster@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

No fictional characters. Sorry, Grandpa Joe haters.

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[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 64 points 1 year ago

Probably dead, be a much easier fight that way

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[-] vettnerk@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 year ago

Jesus, just for the bragging rights.

(Many scholars believe him to be a real person, but with a bit overstating and inaccurate literature associated with him)

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago

BUT if he was real and actually worked as a carpenter, he may be super jacked, even without any magical powers.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Yeah, have you seen him up on that cross? Dude is shredded.

[-] SatyrSack@lemmy.one 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Going for that Jeeeeesus on the cross look

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[-] FReddit@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Trump. I have relevant experience.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Careful, known crotch grabber.

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[-] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Tucker Carlson.

Partially because of his extreme Backpfeifengesicht, but mostly for his Backpfeifenpersonality.

[-] chooglers@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago
[-] Rom@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

He usually went by "Ronald Reagan"

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Unfortunately, that's Mike Tyson.

[-] saxysammyp@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago
[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago

Dead Regan or live Regan? I'd pay good money to see you dig up his corpse and whoop it's ass.

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[-] Lauchs@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Rupert Murdoch.

I think he has single-handedly done more to screw our generation and planet than anyone else could or would do.

Plus, I'm reasonably confident I would win, which is a big plus.

[-] DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 7 points 1 year ago

+1. I don't even wanna fight him - just a single punch to his stupid face would make me feel a lot better.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago

How has nobody said Hitler or Stalin? You bunch of Communist Nazis.

[-] OccamsTeapot@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Lenin. I've seen his body he's a little bitch

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[-] Imgonnatrythis@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Stalin would kick my ass.

Think I'd try wrestling with Kaufman.

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[-] sramder@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

I’m still holding on to a bit of animosity towards that guy Spez.

Anyone living or dead? Definitely dead. I think I could reliably win a fight against a dead guy.

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[-] FollyDolly@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Mitch McConnell. I'd slap his turtle head right back into it's shell.

[-] angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 15 points 1 year ago

Ron DeSantis.

I'm angrier at Rupert Murdoch, but DeSantis would have more of a positive effect.

[-] sarcasticsunrise@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Matt Walsh. As much shit as that guy talks about LGBTQ people = groomers, you just know that this gross fucking turd has some interesting "research" saved on his hard drive. Outside of Steven Crowder I've never seen someone project so hard as this creep

[-] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

I know I probably won't win a fight with most adults, so I'd probably go with Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair just so I can easily win.

Though, if it's him in his prime I'd have to fight, I'd change my answer to just any old random baby that died of SIDS just so I can win and feel good about it.

[-] orangeNgreen@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

The actor that played Grandpa Joe.

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[-] potterpockets@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

Woodrow Wilson. Id probably lose, but as long as i got a solid hit in at least itd feel worth it. Fuck Woodrow Wilson.

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[-] buckykat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Gotta beat Henry Kissinger to death with my bare hands

[-] applejacks@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago

This also holds the hidden potential for the most-humiliating defeat, though.

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[-] skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago

peter thiel

[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago

About 75,000 years ago humans almost went extinct. I'd fight whomever their John Conner was.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Their John Connor was you coming back in time to try to save them.

[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 year ago

Its a twist!

[-] Treefox@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

Fucking Abbott. He started the ruining of women's abortion rights after roe v wade was overturned and everyone followed suit. I'd fight Kemp too cause he's also ruining things. My friends are afraid of dying form bot being able to get an abortion and child victims of rape don't have access anymore.

[-] tym@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No legal consequences? So I could beat them to death?

Easy. Kissinger. The fact he's still breathing doesn't look good for any religion or spirituality's beliefs.

[-] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Abraham Lincoln.

Not for any reasons against the man, or the expectation that I have even half a hope of getting a solid strike in, but I've read of the man's fighting and wrestling experience. They like bringing up his long build as an advantage.

Me and Lincoln are going to fight the proper Orang way. On the deck of a ship in open waters, with a single knife each. We can come to an agreement on victory conditions.

[-] Pulptastic@midwest.social 5 points 1 year ago

Nice try Tyler. I pick Gandhi.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

French president Chirac, for laying waste to my home and its members.

[-] airportline@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

Shoving Robert Moses into a locker

[-] Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

Just fight? Nobody. Fight to death? Probably Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un or Ali Hosseini Khamenei.

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[-] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ben Shapiro or Rupert Murdoch.

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[-] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

Nice try, fbi

[-] Disgusted_Tadpole@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

Anne Frank, I’m a cautious guy when it comes to fighting

[-] Guy_Fieris_Hair@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

"Gandhi" - Narrator

[-] Skoobie@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Zaslav. You don't get to just take away Batgirl. Honestly, I don't even care about the legal consequences part of this question. I would sucker punch that man at noon on the courthouse steps given the opportunity. And at my hearing for early release, I'd do it again.

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this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
70 points (96.1% liked)

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