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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by gunpachi@lemmings.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

If so what kind of training they would have to go through ? By training I mean the spatial and situational awareness, combat skills (this is kinda unrealistic), enough knowledge to turn any situation to their advantage etc.

Just think of the person as your average joe who financially has nothing to spend on high tech gadgets or state of the art training equipment. And doesn't even have any support from another human being. Basically one has to train from the ground up alone.

Don't limit the answers to just James Bond and John wick, you can even consider any realistically possible superhero or supervillain (like batman or taskmaster) as well.

So what's your take ?

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[-] Touching_Grass@lemmy.world 64 points 10 months ago

How autistic would this person be

[-] gunpachi@lemmings.world 9 points 10 months ago

That is a valid take. I also agree with this person who I assume, has touched grass.

I know that is a B.S question But I wanna know how close one can get own their own.

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[-] danhakimi@kbin.social 44 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I don't think any secret agent could rival any of those fictional characters. They have incredible plot armor, depending on the scenario. James Bond is an idiot who fucks every woman who moves, even when he knows they're there to trap him, but has a magic dick that hypnotizes them onto his side.

Batman with prep time is an unstoppable force who could take down every army in the world at once if he really needed to.

No, no human can compare to these characters.

[-] TheDarkKnight@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Batman seems like a potentially plausible reality in the future, factoring in a fuck ton of money AND the Batcomputer, one of the most underrated aspects pf the character. Assuming he’s working with next gen tech on the computer you could plausibly consider that the Batcomputer has some incredible AI capabilities that could give his normal power set to a real world person (to a degree). It could make plans, develop new bat gadgets, research, create work out and training regiments, etc etc. Wouldn’t fit for OP’s question but someone could eventually become somewhat of a Batman in the future with enough drive and money.

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I'm not sure I can trust your judgement in this matter, TheDarkKnight.

[-] TheDarkKnight@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Lmao, yeah…these are the things I spend my days thinking about lol

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[-] amitten@normalcity.life 2 points 10 months ago

Hehe… magic dick.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

I know a man whose dick is like heroin. Unfortunately he’s also completely immoral, so he’s fucked up a lot of women’s lives. Or rather, their brains. He’s fucked up their brains.

[-] zeusbottom@sh.itjust.works 34 points 10 months ago

John Wick and James Bond and superheroes and supervillains are not realistically possible. Otherwise we would have them.

[-] Froyn@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago

Bezos and Musk aren't doing us any favors over here.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Both John Wick and James Bond are secret people with cover stories. We don’t know whether there are people like that or not, because by their nature they are hidden from public view.

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[-] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

This some Mall Ninja Shit.

[-] Donebrach@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Not even, anyone worth their mall already knows the only step you need to take to achieve this goal is to buy The Katana.

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[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 20 points 10 months ago

Well they say its ten thousand hours of practice to master a skill right.

Assuming you already work 8 and sleep 8 travel and maintenance stuff for 2 that leaves you 6 houra a day to dedicate to one aspect of spy craft.

That would take roughly 4 and a half years.

So then you're an expert in firearms

Now you need to learn hand to hand combat so again 10000 hours but you need to maintain currency with firearms so you only have 5 hours a day to practice now it's nearly 5 and a half years to become an expert.

So we're at 10 years to learn gun control and hand to hand combat.

Havent even touched on spatial awareness stuff along with driving flying jet ski riding and seduction.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 6 points 10 months ago

Okay, so if you start in your early 20s, you might make it by the time you are in your 50s. We can also use some hours over the weekend. This sounds like a totally doable thing

[-] nevernevermore@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago

It’s also way more doable if you quit your current job and find another career that will not only encourage training in these areas, but financially compensate you for it, too.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 2 points 10 months ago

What are we waiting for??!?!

[-] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 months ago

…and just like that, another dickhead cop is created.

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[-] rwhitisissle@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 months ago

Now that would be an interesting movie. You have a guy who really loved action hero movies as a kid and spent his life honing those skills. Not because he really wants to kill anyone, but just because it's fun. He spends his professional career as a mundane office worker until one day a group of terrorists take over his office building and plan on killing everyone inside. He has to fight his way through multiple floors of trained killers to get to the top so he can take down the chief bad guy, The Raid/Judge Dredd style. Realistically, he would definitely die within like 2 minutes from getting shot in the back of the head, but it's still a fun setup for an "unlikely hero" action movie.

[-] jawsua@lemmy.one 2 points 10 months ago

He's a sysadmin and he doesn't do downtime

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[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 16 points 10 months ago

No, because those characters are fantastical. You can stay in great shape if that's your priority and engage in martial arts and other fighty things, but they take a lot of time and dedication.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 10 months ago

Are we in an action movie? In real life both of those gentlemen would die immediately. It's extremely difficult to beat 2 people in a fair fight even for the best fighters, let alone more like in John Wick. James Bond is pretty much a meme for villains that make it really easy for him to escape.

In an action movie... Well, thinking like a writer I guess it would be a bit like the adult version of Home Alone.

In real life, I guess what's the test? If it's bodycount (and morality aside), see every mass shooting. If it's taking down a major organisation from within, see whistleblowers like Edward Snowden. If it's looking really cool see a fitness influencer or something.

[-] devils_advocate@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 months ago

it would be a bit like the adult version of Home Alone

Ah. So Skyfall then

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 10 months ago

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[-] Encode1307@lemm.ee 15 points 10 months ago

No, no real human can become as capable as James Bond or John Wick even if they dedicate 24/7 to it.

[-] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 13 points 10 months ago

The closest equivalent I would think of are existing special forces of different militaries.

You first need the physical and mental ability to even be considered. From that, the military will then invest a lot in weapons, combat, and other training.

The closest outside of government training is maybe MMA, but that is only close combat. Even then, people dedicate their entire non-work time for years to get to that level.

[-] rwhitisissle@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago

I remember a video on youtube from a long time ago about an MMA fighter who got into a fight at a bar in, I think, Brazil. There were multiple guys with knives. Know what he did? He fucking booked it and still almost died. The reality is that the reason John Wick and James Bond win fights against multiple armed opponents is because the script demands it. In real life you would die almost instantly against greater numbers or armed opponents, regardless of how well trained you are or if you're special forces or a secret agent. Because you don't have plot armor.

[-] devils_advocate@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

Then again, Gurkhas exist.

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[-] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 12 points 10 months ago

Sorry I can't talk about it

[-] SecretPancake@feddit.de 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Their biggest strength, aside from fantasy physical strength, is years and years of experience in the field. You could train every aspect of it individually, in the end it’s all theory. It’s like every other job, only their jobs don’t exist, to the extend that they do it.

I’d say the closest that you could come to it is if you would join the French foreign legion or something.

Another factor that’s missing in the real world are the gadgets and impossible armors. Without that they wouldn’t survive this long.

[-] lauha@lemmy.one 9 points 10 months ago

Their biggest strength is the plot shield

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[-] init@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 months ago

Not only that, but Bond has an entire agency and thousands of people supporting him and his activities. There really are things you can't do yourself while in a heated situation that have to be done.

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[-] GCanuck@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

I remember something a friend said to me once. We were watching an action movie and during a well choreographed sequence I said something about wanting to be able to fight like that. My friend said, “sorry, you’ve only got one life”.

Nothing is impossible, but after a certain point in life, you’re simply unable to achieve that which would take a lifetime to master.

[-] TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub 11 points 10 months ago

When you say "taskmaster," I assume you don't mean Greg Davies, right?

[-] gunpachi@lemmings.world 3 points 10 months ago

I meant the one from Marvel comics. White costume, and can copy any move that he sees.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

If you want to develop spatial and situational awareness, all you need to do is grow up as a victim of parental abuse. You’ll know everything happening in a 50 yard radius for the rest of your life.

Being homeless helps a bit too, especially if you experience some violence while homeless. As many homeless victims of random violence have discovered, the police will not help you at all.

source: personal experience

[-] gunpachi@lemmings.world 2 points 10 months ago

I have a similar experience, although it may not be comparable to yours.

I grew up in a very strict household. My parents constantly checked up on me while I was a teenager and that too in a super sneaky way. At first I used to get jumpscared then I gradually became more aware of my surroundings (even through earphones on with music on low volume)

So I can confirm that this works. Its like using subconcious fear to boost sensory input I guess.

[-] CameronDev@programming.dev 8 points 10 months ago

You can train as much as you like, and have all the resources in the world,, but until they invent real world plot armor, you would get wrecked by a stray bullet almost instantly. There are no realistically possible super heros.

Weird link, it goes to a Google Summer of Code post for me.

[-] Dalek_Thal@aussie.zone 5 points 10 months ago

This is for a friend, right?

[-] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 4 points 10 months ago

If John wick was a real human being with a regular human body he would be dead so quickly

[-] gunpachi@lemmings.world 2 points 10 months ago

He also had that bullet resistant suit on him which helped a ton. There's a video by the Hacksmith to recreate the suit but obviously real world results were nowhere near John Wick's suit.

[-] shartworx@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

Consider Bruce Lee. Dedicated his time to mastering multiple martial arts. Died of edema at 32 years old. No opponents. It's possible he drank too much water.

[-] Mambert@beehaw.org 3 points 10 months ago

Just work out after work, train on the weekends, and you'll be better than a majority of people. And isn't that enough most of the time?

[-] TeaHands@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It would probably help if their full time job was already secret agent.

I always find the bit that takes me out of those characters is that they seem to speak, like, every language. I know polyglots exist, but the time it would take on top of the time all their other skills would take? Not only to learn, but to maintain fluency? There's literally not enough hours in the day.

[-] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 10 months ago

The UK Version of The Office had a great scene where the weekend warrior office nerd opines 'will there ever be a boy born... Who can swim faster than a shark'

[-] el_abuelo@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

You are referring to "The Office"

The US Version of "The Office" is the clone, so please do not denigrate the classic.

Note: I prefer the US version. This is not a comment on which one is preferred or better.

[-] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 10 months ago

I am referring to the UK version as I have not seen the US version out of principle

[-] AMillionNames@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

These have some implied requirements like being ivy league material and a certified patriot. They are also both essentially superprodigies who can only exist in fiction.

You can take a self-defense class, though. Get someone to train you with weapons and parkour, and you are all set to be an average person with self-defense, gun training, and some novice-level parkour abilities.

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this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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