617
I must harness this power (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] GCanuck@lemmy.world 122 points 1 year ago

Muscles weigh more than shit. When you were shitting, you were flexing really hard and built muscle.

Congrats on the gains.

[-] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 year ago

Congrats, you now have a sphincter that can cut cucumbers!

[-] HurlingDurling@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

What about a watermelon?

[-] Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu 10 points 1 year ago

Constipation builds muscle faster. No pain no gain.

[-] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Science. 😎

[-] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.ml 69 points 1 year ago

The real answer is that bathroom scales have god awful precision and accuracy.

[-] SinTacks@programming.dev 21 points 1 year ago

Most mid market scales buffer the weight to normalize it. I got a $20 one off Amazon that just tells me fresh every time and it’s great. I pooped .4lbs this morning.

[-] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago
[-] Knusper@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

Hmm, how would they buffer it, if you've got multiple household members? Or are we talking about those weird scales that require an app?

[-] hesdeadjim@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

If last measurement within half a pound, show previous measurement.

[-] electrorocket@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

They are both imprecise AND inaccurate?

[-] ArcticDagger@feddit.dk 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

When talking about measurements, "precision" and "accuracy" have slightly different meanings See here

[-] hesdeadjim@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Most digital bathroom scales will repeat your last measurement if it hasn't changed by more than half a pound. I pick up a 1 lb soap bottle off the counter first, then measure again without it for my weigh in.

Customers really hate seeing if a scale has a little inaccuracy in back to back measurements, so they all build in this bullshitting.

[-] Mythril@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

so you're saying we should invest in an industrial freight shipping scale for maximum accuracy

[-] rmuk@feddit.uk 2 points 1 year ago

I love this. It remind me of the whole South Korean fan thing.

[-] Knusper@feddit.de 10 points 1 year ago

I'm short-sighted and on our mechanical scale, I can't see the thin lines to count out the precise kilos.
At first, I was bothered by that, but yeah, in addition to natural weight fluctuations, just bouncing a bit on the scale would stop it at different kilos, so eventually I considered it more of a feature that I couldn't tell precisely.

[-] Hyperreality@kbin.social 59 points 1 year ago

Methane is lighter than air. You deflated your balloon intestines by removing the cork, so the methane and other gases are no longer giving you a modicum of buoyancy.

πŸ«„β¬…οΈ me with 1lb of poop and -1.4lb of methane

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago

That's why you have to be sure to leave a dump and not take a dump.

[-] NevermindNoMind@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

It's all the coffee you drank you make that poop a reality.

Only a shower in between. It was a miracle birth

[-] Alto@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago

Makes sense if you've got a lot of hair. Water ain't exactly light

Dried my hair first for science to isolate variables πŸ§‘β€πŸ”¬

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Could be OP is a sheep dog? Or a yeti?

Or if OP is a furry I suggest not to shower in the costume (or what furries call their suits?)

[-] chocobo13z@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago

Usually called a fursuit, I think even for non-mammalian characters.

[-] oogles@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Quick, eat an entire pizza by yourself to drop the weight again.

[-] someguy3@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Shitting antimatter.

[-] recapitated@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I'll bet you put your phone down the first time, and it was in your pocket the second time. Poop weighs incredibly little.

[-] June@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

I once lost 4 pounds just by pooping.

[-] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago
[-] recapitated@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

And what was it on the Clydesdale scale?

[-] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

"careful, he's a hero"

No clothes both times and dry hair. The scientific method cannot constrain me

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

No, don't be ashamed. 1 out of 3000 Americans is a Reverse-Pooper; it's time we recognize their struggle

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

this can only be explained if your shit is lighter than air, did it fly away?

[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

The science going on in the comment section is just *chef's kiss*

[-] Mythril@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

I learn all my science from meme communities

[-] 018118055@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

Build a hyperdrive with that negative mass exotic matter poop

this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
617 points (97.2% liked)

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