Those are eyephones

Then it would logically follow that smart watches would be called...

microphones.

I already have to do this. My office wants everyone to use the MS authenticator app, won't run on LineageOS. Even if it did, I wouldn't install it, but still.

Ended up making them purchase a hardware security key for me instead.

Short answer: it's easier to grow it

Now with 50% less arsenic!

"We're sorry, using AI-based ad-blockers is a violation of our Terms of Service Agreement. Per the agreement terms, your account is now suspended and you've been charged an additional early termination fee, because fuck you."

While I'm sure there will eventually be some grass-roots attempts, the providers will fight it to the death. A person can dream, though.

But what's the statue made of?

I have a feeling that the political use of it will die out after the election, for what that's worth. And I don't think it will seriously impact the "Keep ______ Weird" trend, because they are celebrating weirdness (whereas the Republicans are trying to claim they're not).

Porn't, the new SFW

The $50 dickbutt DLC isn't scheduled to be released until a month after the launch, but for an extra $70 you can get the limited edition collectors edition at launch, that comes with a cheaply made Mario-with-a-butt-instead-of-a-head limited edition figurine.

And for $40 you can also purchase the "getting started" pack--that includes a save file where we beat the game, so you don't even have to play it. Your name, email address, and SSN will be on our first-to-finish list!

I'm gonna release a AAAAA game. It'll cost $95 and when you install it, it'll just be a romhack of Super Mario World changing all the enemy sprites into butts. There'll be a link to file complaints that just points to a terrible image made in ms paint that says "lol f u".

My stock prices gonna hit the moon.

Hmm.. on second thought, Reagan.