1
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago

WannaCry? No, WannaCum.

[-] cooopsspace@infosec.pub 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I'll give you an errection in front of the HR manager."

Or worse

"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you'll never get an errection again.*

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Future kink

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

After you get snipped, it's potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.

Edit: sorry for facts on shit post

[-] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.

People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn't think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 0 points 2 months ago

Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?

[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I think you'll need to go deeper than just the urethra.

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 0 points 2 months ago

Yeah, but you still gotta go through it

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] ReputedlyDeplorable@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Yes here is an article about it. Article

The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”

[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.

[-] billiam0202@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Yep. For anyone who's that serious about not having children, that's more like an incentive.

Source: got snipped.

[-] clif@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then "ejaculate as frequently as possible" before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.

Doctor's orders! 🫡

[-] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Lol I was given the same advice.

“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 months ago

That's like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?

[-] GoodEye8@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Beat your meat in the missus?

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Gotta wait for the clear bill of health

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I'll hold your beer, but I'm not providing an audience.

[-] fossphi@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Screw this guy. I'll cheer you and bring you water when you're done

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] saigot@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago

Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.

[-] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?

[-] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Careful what you wish for

[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 0 points 2 months ago

Who needs to turn their sperm release on and off so quickly? I understand wanting it to be easier than surgery but no one needs it so fast that you flip a switch. Deciding to have kids is a huge decision that often takes months of fucking to succeed at.

[-] magic_smoke@links.hackliberty.org 0 points 2 months ago

No that's so you can release it after you've pulled out. Its gotta go somewhere.

[-] Lycist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Need to set up a railway switch track in there. Divert unneeded loads to /dev/null/ and then hit the switch to return to the normal output track.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

What if you don't want to have kids with your concubine, but do want to have kids with your wife? What then... Mr smarty pants?

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 0 points 2 months ago

It's for when you need to pee

[-] enbyecho@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Wait won't this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?

[-] Nikls94@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!

It’s that way when having a vasectomy

[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 0 points 2 months ago

When I got a vasectomy, it was like 20 before they wanted to do a fertility test.

[-] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

That was the hardest part of the whole procedure. It took like 3 hours for the doctor to make me cum that many times.

[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 0 points 2 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal

[-] Lycist@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Go full RGB, acquire "Gamer Balls".

[-] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

That's this:

[-] Sabata11792@ani.social 0 points 2 months ago

The RGB just makes you nut faster.

[-] merari42@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

This, but I want the voice command changed to "Go go gadget genitalia"

[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I'd just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Just redirect my urethra and install a single Y-Valve. Flip the switch up and I cum out the tip, flip the switch down and I cum out my taint.

Ultimate pull-out method.

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

You could even add a bag attachment and keep it!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 months ago

Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.

https://www.planaformen.com/

Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26212 readers
380 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS