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Help me out here (lemmy.world)
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[-] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 months ago

I used to know one who would go for "here's $100", though that was many many years ago and I don't know if she still lives that kind of life. I haven't kept up with anyone from high-school, much less friends of friends.

[-] lauha@lemmy.one 0 points 2 months ago

If by immediate you mean in govermental decision making scale i.e. couple of weeks or months then I once saw a guy being an actual decent person to be around without expecting anything in return and he had no problem getting around.

[-] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we blow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?

[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago
[-] Technus@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 months ago

Well shit, that's a non-starter then.

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago

Better order something inflatable then, it will probably be more accommodating, and I suggest you order a wide selection and some repair kits just to be sure.

[-] Ithral@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 months ago

Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?

Step two say ????? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn't a big deal.

Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Yeah I know 3 different plus sized gamers who are happily married

[-] ving_thor@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

[-] genuineparts@infosec.pub 0 points 2 months ago

If i said you have a nice body would you take off your clothes and do a little dance?

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

"I am no longer infected!"

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Bouncy bouncy

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago

If you throw some money at me I would

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Well at least there's something we can all agree on.

[-] AceSLS@ani.social 0 points 2 months ago

Relevant last place comic:

[-] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Remember Kif: the fastest way to a woman's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

[-] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

“Plus Size Gamer”

Dude, we’re fat or even obese.

[-] proctonaut@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago
[-] Kyyrypyy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a great band name

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

rubenesque gamer

[-] Zozano@lemy.lol 0 points 2 months ago

Diabetes Stranding

[-] Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 months ago

Maybe start by not referring to them as ‘females’ or talking about ‘luring’ them to your room

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago
Han shot first
[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

John Madden. Football.

[-] DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

Idk why but censoring R*ddit is way funnier than it should be

[-] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 0 points 2 months ago

Oh it's reddit? I thought it was censoring out a name of a planet.

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 months ago

Huh I thought it's a country name.

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[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I prefer Re***t

[-] MTK@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I heard that showing her how unfair it is that just because you are nice no one wants to sleep with you, is the best way to make her sleep with you out of obvious obligation to your nice personality and unjust fate

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 0 points 2 months ago

Also in this context being weird and shy counts as nice. You don't actually have to make any effort!

[-] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Well maybe they’ve gotten enough nice points they can turn them in for one sex?

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

TIL: there is such a thing as a stupid question.

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 0 points 2 months ago

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 0 points 2 months ago

There's one in the Austin Powers movies with a funny scottish accent.

I don't think he's not a gamer tho. "Dead sexy" funny guy nonetheless.

[-] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 months ago

Fat Bastard?

[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I believe his pick up line was: "Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back."

He had other lines the ladies love like:

"First things first. Where’s your shitter?! I’ve got a turtle head poking out!"

[-] Senseless@feddit.org 0 points 2 months ago

This is semi unrelated, but I think still somewhat fitting. There's this one guy in our festival group that sometimes is away, no one knows where he's at but chances are high, he's fucking someone. He's that kind of guy, that ladies fall for when he drops lines like "hi, I'm (redacted) and how do your pants open?"

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it.

[-] ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org 0 points 2 months ago

"$3 million/year, 1 night/week."

[-] prayer@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

~150,000/night is a hefty cost.

[-] random_character_a@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

ever been married?

[-] ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org 0 points 2 months ago

To betray one's own heart in the interest of profit, such a cost is fair.

[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 months ago

"plus sized"

[-] muzzle@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

No clue, but I would start by not referring to them as females, just a hunch.

[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

You don't have to say anything, just show them the sweet skills you've developed while studying the blade.

[-] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

"You should smile more. You'd be a lot prettier"

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

"Hi, I'm Gabe"

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this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)

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