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submitted 3 months ago by Maven@lemmy.zip to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 226 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Haha I remember the days of downloading random EXEs off the internet and running them to see what they do (also the days of CD-rom drives).

My auntie somehow managed to get a virus that played Für Elise through the motherboard speaker and never stopped so long as the thing was on. I don't think they ever solved it, in the end they just got a new PC.

[-] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 163 points 3 months ago

That probably wasn't a virus.

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2bs41z/til_that_if_your_bios_was_made_by_awardunicore/

[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 86 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Holy shit, TIL!

[-] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

When I read it, it stirred a distant memory of hearing such a story before, so I knew that there was something behind it and looked it up.

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 42 points 3 months ago

Literally why would someone make that. That is completely indistinguishable as a signal.

[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 69 points 3 months ago

I mean I guess you are supposed to take it to your computer repair shop and tell them it won't stop playing Für Elise, and the shop is supposed to recognise it as a failure of CPU fan signal. If it just beeped a few times on startup then people would ignore it, and if it beeped constantly then well maybe Für Elise is nicer.

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Huh yeah that's MUCH better than throwing a post code and playing a beep during startup to signal something is wrong.

[-] mox@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 3 months ago

Sadly, many motherboards don't have POST code displays.

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[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 26 points 3 months ago

I’m impressed that the computer was usable with the failed CPU fan.

[-] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 3 months ago

Computers in 97 didn't need much in the way of cooling. A large passive heatsink was plenty for those CPUs. They're not the 300+ watt behemoths we have today.

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[-] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago

Drain.exe would say "water in drive a:, commencing spin cycle" then power up the drive and make a gurgling sound.

Sheep.exe ... would create a sheep that would wander the desktop.

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 38 points 3 months ago

Haha, in highschool I put sheep.exes into the school labs startup folders as a prank once. A couple days later the tech teacher approached me and was like "nobody's in trouble but these things are a nightmare and if I have to reimage half the lab to get rid of them it would personally ruin my day". Somehow all the sheep were gone by the next day

[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 14 points 3 months ago

Ah shit the sheep thing! In fact, there were others I can't remember. And I seem to remember somewhere along the line they went from fun to spam things walking around your screen trying to make you buy shit or maybe they were trying to scam you, I can't remember but they weren't fun anymore, and hard to get rid of.

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[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

There was also a program that would open the CD-ROM drive and play a raspberry noise at random intervals. It was a fun prank to set it to run at login.

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 months ago

Motherboards have speakers?

[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 49 points 3 months ago

Are you trying to make me feel old?

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it.

[-] jaaake@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago

Back in my day, that used to be the only way a computer could produce sound. Later on you could purchase a specialized sound card that would take up a slot in your motherboard.

[-] jayknight@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 months ago

I thought I was the cool kid when I got my SoundBlaster 16!

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[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

They do, but it’s a very simple speaker that’s really more of a buzzer than what you might think of as a speaker.

Many motherboards use a combination of beeps to report hardware errors if you fail on power on.

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[-] jaschen@lemm.ee 143 points 3 months ago

I remember there was a virus that had a tiny cat on the screen and it would chase your mouse cursor. Once it catches your mouse cursor, the computer would crash. It was freaking awesome.

[-] Vivendi@lemmy.zip 32 points 3 months ago

That's based on a harmless Unix game that you can install forks of which on modern day Linux as well, by the way

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[-] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 91 points 3 months ago

man i miss these days.

These days not only would it open your CD drive, it would open your tax documents, your crypto wallet, your account cookies, probably even your banking information.

The modern internet fucking sucks dude.

[-] soggy_kitty@sopuli.xyz 66 points 3 months ago

Put the rose tinted glasses to one side. We still had harmful viruses back in the day, difference is these days you are storing more private information "online" so the effect of compromise is larger.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 19 points 3 months ago

Back then, there were still lots of "wipers" that deleted files and/or destroyed the OS. Now it's all spyware and ransomware.

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[-] booly@sh.itjust.works 46 points 3 months ago

Oh don't worry, malicious .exe files were all over the forums back then.

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[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 75 points 3 months ago

The "The Simpsons" "so far" meme where Bart says "this is the worst day of my life" and Homer "helpfully" responds "this is the worst day of your life so far." Only this one is captioned with "never mind it just opens the CD-ROM drive" and "it just opens the CD-ROM drive as far as you know."

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[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 3 months ago

This was a common April Fools prank back in my day. We would put a startup script on a person's computer that opened their CD drive at random intervals. Drove them nuts!

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 months ago

I have a folder of "pranks" like these from way back and they were harmless but sure enough they fire off modern anti virus software.

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 months ago

I made one called "crash_bandicoot.exe" that opened the windows calculator in an infinite loop.

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[-] DrGiltspur@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

How about the one that launched a dialog box: "Do you have a small penis? Yes/No", and if you moved your mouse near the "No" button, the button would run away around the screen?

Man, good times.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Odd, that button always worked for me.

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[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

Pretty sure this has been around since the mid 90s

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 21 points 3 months ago

Classics are timeless by definition. You witness the adolescence of culture.

[-] key@lemmy.keychat.org 22 points 3 months ago

That joke was constant in the early 00s.

[-] catastrophicblues@lemmy.ca 19 points 3 months ago

I remember a guy who tied his baby’s rocker to the drive and wrote code to open and close the CD drive repeatedly lol. Fun times.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 3 months ago

Hmm. Did the motor last? It's obviously not built to provide that much torque/force, although I can't say for sure it would be damaged by it.

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[-] GreenPlasticSushiGrass@moist.catsweat.com 15 points 3 months ago

Did people download .exe files in 2006? We were so innocent.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

& .bat s & ZIPs

[-] Ballistic_86@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

An old fashioned meme but it checks out

[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 10 points 3 months ago

naw, what you do is write a small exe to play "youre the best" by joe espesito through the pcspeaker at 15% volume than you can trigger remotely..randomly until the user goes mad

"doesnt anyone else Hear that?!"

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