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this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2024
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I don't blame anyone for not wanting to have kids in this environment.
Yes, my wife and I considered not for environmental reasons. My parents thought we were nuts citing the threat of nuclear war when they were kids and everyone continuing to have kids then. They've come around to understand our hesitation now, mostly, but it was distressing that they couldn't understand , if not agree, with hesitating.
Of course, the environment is just one thing that gives us pause these days. People are crazy. Politicians and the laws they create are (or the dissolution of certain laws is) crazy. Plenty of reasons to pause.
We did have a child, and I do not regret it, but we also have the means to support her and a way to escape the U.S. if things get much worse. Many Americans don't have either option, and no child should be neglected or abused and every child should have a robust support system. I wish we would encourage and educate people on contraception on a grand scale.
Quick note though, one child is still far below replacement rate. Though you didn't state if you're one and done or not.
True, and we were definitely one and done and now my wife is 46, so it would be way too risky. We wouldn't have been able to financially support a child and I didn't want to end up having a favorite, which sure happened with me and my brother who could do no wrong despite being a major asshole. I wouldn't want to have a favorite, but I wouldn't be able to prevent it either. And I wouldn't want to have more than one kid if it turned out I thought one was better than the other. That could lead to proper child care issues.
Also, raising just the one has been a herculean effort due to all sorts of things, so I don't regret it. I love her more than anything in the world and I don't regret any of the effort I've made, but I don't know that I would have been able to handle two such kids on a mental level.