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‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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It can definitely be a chore. And extremely disheartening. But that's the world we live in. And hopefully love in, as my phone autocorrect wanted to say. For you this might be the 20th original message you've written today, but for them this is their first impression of you. Make it count, or you're just self sabotaging.
Also, if you're getting 30+ matches a day, that's a good problem to have. I get like a couple a week, and about half turn into dates. Some I reject, sometimes they reject me. I'm a guy who doesn't date men.
But anyway, I don't really disagree but I always recommend when it starts to feel like a chore that you hate: take a break. The apps will probably always be here. Go outside. See your friends.
I also just don't bother messaging people who don't have anything in their bio/blurb to talk about. The rare times they message me first, it's almost always "hey" tier bad.
I'm not saying I get 30+ matches a day, I'm saying "I send 30+ messages a day on various apps, not just Bumble and get nothing in return". It's like applying for a job. It's spending $35/month in hopes that you get a response.