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this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2023
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VenusGate: Uh, spaceguard? We lost contact with the Venus colony several weeks ago. They've got 2 months of air so they might still be alive. Though we did learn from the last time and didn't bolt the windows shut in case they made it back to Earth on their own and needed to get out. The CEO did complain about the smell of farts increasing and the last communication said they were able to get a few open to air out the place, so we know they work.
NASA: Spaceguard isn't a thing. Also the bolts weren't the problem last time, it was the complete structural failure. Opening some windows probably allowed the pressure to equalize, which caused the vessel to drop into the "everything melts" zone. They are dead.
VenusGate: So you won't be sending anyone out to look for them?
NASA: No.