I'm running Dendrite, I expect the best compatibility as this is an official product.

Fair point, I assumed OP meant people of indeterminate identity. Jan Kowalski is indeed the goto placeholder name.

Bonus points for optimising IRC nostalgia post for rendering in Lynx.

Some example video?

In Poland typically, both officially and informally, one says N. N. (Latin nomen nescio, identity unknown).

Sure, but give us something to work with ;)