As an old Perl jockey, you can pry my backticks out of my cold, dead hands.

It sounds like what you are looking for is a form of an object request broker. Provide the name of a class as a string (or, if the set of desired objects is more constrained, an integer or enum or something similar) and then build an instance based on that key. Generally, all these objects typically inherit from some base class like Object so that the broker can return an Object* and the client can dynamic cast it down to the actual thing. I've used a pattern like this in the past that worked pretty well using macro magic to enable classes eligible to be instantiated through the broker (register the key and the class name with the broker). This was pre-C++03, so doubtless there are cleaner and more modern ways to implement such a thing these days.

The Wang Gang strikes again!

Very disappointing not to see an #if 0 (my personal go-to for decades) in this meme. 😞

The text in the image represents how accurate it tends to be whenever I try to OCR a document.

I am also interested in the answer to this and which service the author is using.

This is fantastic work, and anybody who downvoted this clearly did not get it.

There is so much to unwrap here.

This is good too.

I thought OP was looking for minced oaths that could be used in its place, and this is the first thing that came to mind for me. I use this one all the time because I try not to drop the big one around my five- and three-year-olds.

This is one of the stupidest things I've seen online in a very long time, and of course I laughed for a solid minute. Well done, OP.

My grandchildren are going to be very excited to get this new XBox! - some Grandma somewhere