Mastodon has a horrible UI and UX, at least in my opinion. I've found Misskey and its forks to be better.

My current instance has ~160 users, and it's okay. I once used a friend's instance, where I was the 2nd user. It was very bad. That might in part be the fact that it was running Conduwuit though.

Mfw state resets (problem in server) is actually just because of the users

How? A few weeks back I had to deal with getting spammed with invites to CSAM rooms. I've also been harassed many times on it. And not to mention lack of moderation tools and state issues.

matrix: unstable overall

"Unstable" is an understatement, and this comes from a girl who uses it all day every day.

why are we censoring "shooter" but not the name of a far-right forum that has harassed me multiple times

8GB is enough for me, but my laptop usually only has GNOME, Orca, and Cinny running.

Homeserver issue most likely.