I could see Weird Al answering the Witch of the North this question and being undeniably good. But why stop there? Great Weird!

The Great and Powerful Weird Al

Winter Olympic athletes around the world train in Salt Lake City today. SLC and the state of Utah are trying to replicate the Los Angeles 1984 games as much as possible by using already built infrastructure. Also, SLC had a lot of volunteers on 2002 and can anticipate more volunteer labor in 2034.

Krusty wears respectable white clown makeup, not that petty orange bronzer. Krusty also grifts with real clown humor with his products that makes people laugh and not the kind of Sick-makes-you barf grifting of cheap bibles and intangible NFTs. Krusty is way younger and nowhere near as crazy.

"One! Two! FIVE!" "Three, Sire!" "THREE!"

SCOTUS has said no. Also, the Confederacy lost the whole war over their state members trying to leave. There is no legal means of seceding from the Union aside from persuading three quarters of the other states to let you leave by amending the constitution.

A humorous joke like "Yes, Mrs. Thomas, we are Seal Team 6 and no, we don't need a warrant because of who sent us."

Putin's vanity for the history books. Russian blood for Mr. "Look at me! I'm better than you!" A disgusting monster.

The podcast is titled Dolly Parton's America. I highly recommend it. The song is platonic love instead of romantic or erotic love. Dolly is truly a national treasure.

Platonic

Bless her heart.

Happy Friursday!

Having a place to live is a plus too.