You can be positive at end because you have save something with your work. I have your age, never work a single day of my life, I don't have a bank account, I'm just living with my 70yo parent and keep going with his money that is the wage of essential worker. Where I am going? Enjoy what? What ride? I only see that probably I have to work like a slave in future, and that's it.

I'm glad to finally read someone that's say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don't have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I'm 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don't want it, I don't like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don't like, that's so stupid and I feel bad.

Still everything is now ashes, dust in the wind, nothing. All this fun hobbies are now only a meanless memory, I didn't have nothing back, all the fun you say is become, for me, hate. Hate to have wasted my time laughing like a fool behind videogames, books, even sports, telling myself that was okay, creating a big lie that hobby was something important, just to see it ending without any result. So that's the point, limited time sure it's everything, but meaning is also everything in this life.

I didn't find any good enough hobby in this 35 years of life that didn't fade after some time. At moment I'm very empty inside, I spend half day sleeping and other half working, everything looks expansive to do, I give up on everything, I'm keeping myself alive because I'm just scared of the pain and I can't imagine stop existing.

My first porn was on floppy disk

I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can't deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That's there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.

Too much extremist and people who just here to sell their blogs, website, onlyfans, ect.

Because their code is a mess, ugly and full of bugs, that is better burn to the roots that trying to fix it.

And this the first big mistake of become a soldier in a war during this times. That's why many europeans will not fight for their countries aswell, there isnt a rich paycheck waiting you, only misery and death, warlords games sitting on their red chairs around long table, I can't believe that still there is someone doing the soldier, expecially the attackers, who are this people to accept invading another country? Thiefs, murders, evil guys.

Inner peace

12-13 in Europe.

Same, people keep me asking, why don't you have whatsup, facebook, instagram or gmail? Fucking hell, we living in a dystopia where everyone need this apps as basic, corporation win and everyone clapping like monkeys.