He's such a bland bleakly boring person that he'd only show an improvement in character if he had a beanie hat.
"I am lobbying to change the legal definition of lemonade so no lemons are required." 
It's not a monopoly if the monopoly's reach extends to other business schemes 
I refuse to believe that someone who calls me 'captain smug' is seriously interested in my opinion.
I'm not and would prefer you just fuck off, but since you're still here, NAME ONE OF THOSE COUNTRIES THAT HAS A SYSTEM YOU CLAIM IS BETTER.
He collected it all for himself in one mighty scoop. 
Name them, Captain Smug. Tell us about whatever quaint Northern European social democratic paradise that you got excited about after reading about it on Reddit, that compartmentalizes and outsources all the suffering you don't want to know about.
You may be on to something there, though some of the quieter ones I have names for, like the Mercers or the Waltons, do seem miserable from what I know about them.
Still, if those are outliers, unless the quiet capitalists are secretly richer than their loudest and most obnoxious counterparts, I can't help but wonder why the richest among them are also the loudest and most miserable.
Communism works the same way, except the party leaders are the ones on top
Therefore the best system is the one that directly rewards the most horridly destructively greedy assholes around without the slightest obligation toward the rest of society!
they live like gods
Miserable gods, like the ones in ancient Mesopotamia.
The richest and most powerful of them seem preoccupied with trying to escape the world that they currently rule, whether through space colonialism or "waking up from the simulation" or the like.
Here's how you hustlegrind to trick more people to pedal unicycles and hold up bowls for you. Passive income is a lifehack!
