I visited Portland as a kid in the late 90s. Everybody was really cool and down-to-earth, but one thing I noticed was how normalized outdoor spitting was. Like one time I saw an attractive person across the street, and we were checking each other out, and then they leaned over and spat while maintaining eye contact. I'm pretty sure there was no communicative intent, they just needed to spit.

my details … which I may have to recount for them.

That part isn't so bad. You should have a set of work stories about how awesome you are, that you make sure to tell them. (i.e. the project you single-handedly saved, the problem coworker you were able to get along with, the impossible deadline you met, etc.) Then it's just a matter of figuring out which story to start off with, and ideally it turns into a conversation. "We were using XYZ system on ABC machines, you do that here too?" "Oh yeah that system sucks, one time..." etc.

I do love philosophical discussion. It’s a major passion.

Most community colleges have a couple good Intro to Philosophy classes you might be interested in.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

traditional Buddhist story

• Do you have a religious affiliation? A lot of people go to the social events of their local church/mosque/temple to meet "safer" people. You don't even have to be that religious, it's often just a cultural thing.
• Are there any team sports you are interested in? A lot of places have amateur or informal leagues. Similarly, martial arts classes can be fun. If you have a local rec center (local government, not private), check it out.
• edit: if you don't like participating in sports, consider becoming a fan. Pick a local team (maybe pro but better minor-league) and join the fan club, start going to their matches and cheering for them. Alternately, find a local fan club for a foreign team, e.g. the local English Pub shows the Premier League games and the Manchester United fans meet up every game.
• What kind of music you like? Local bars, cafes, even some restaurants may set up musicians, and since they're not some huge concert they can be free or cheap. Support your local music scene!
• You aren't going to college, but you may want to check out community college. They're usually inexpensive and you might as well take a class in something you're really interested in.
• Check out your local public library, a lot of times they have free talks or movies or reading groups.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” -Oscar Wilde.

It’s not “I want public transportation because public transportation is fun”,

Public transportation is kinda fun though. It's great to relax and read a book or social media instead of staring at the backs of cars and cursing.

Something about your plans was very appealing to you. What about them gave you a sense of identity? Why those plans specifically? Try to figure that out: be very specific, write it down even, and discuss it with people. Once you figure out the driving force behind your plans, use that to guide you.

Even for the gov and business they usually don't work out, but they realize that "plans are useless, but planning is essential."

I'll just be happy when we never have to see that guy's face in the news again.