Despite their somewhat cuddly appearance, otters have teeth and jaws that are strong enough to crack open ~~shellfish~~ human fucking skulls.

Try everything. Why the hell not? Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Crunchwrap, and Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrrito are the best. Baja Blast is the real deal.

Also, here comes the baby boomer diarrhea jokes. Every time Taco Bell is mentioned, it's the same joke. I don't even think it's NOT that funny, but it's just the same joke over and over.

I hope a galaxy hits my house, so I can get out of work.

The elementary school I taught at offered free lunches to all students. Still, parents who packed food for their kids would give them Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Takis and a huge can of Arizona Ice Tea daily. These students looked down on hot lunch kids. I remember seeing a student that had a lunchable everyday, but clearly their parent got it from a 7/11 or something because there was a price tag on it and it was for $5. There were also parents that dropped of fast food EVERY SINGLE DAY to their student. These were low income families too.

When lunch food is a status symbol, the system has failed you.

I was just kidding. I'm very jealous. I've spent thousands and have nothing to show for it. Maybe a hundred bucks from live shows 20 years ago.

Was it a dildo made of starburst? No one will buy mine

Ok. Will do! Thanks!

You know what sucks about Facebook? The fact that it took the reigns from Craigslist and you can't buy local used stuff without having a Facebook account. I hate hate hate that. I want to sell my used shit without a Facebook account. It's all fucking tire kickers anyway.

I'm an American with an Android phone. I use Google Messages for SMS because no one uses anything but iMessages or SMS here. It blows ass.

They gonna get waymo fares

Game:

GoldenEye 007, but I want it to be in 1997 playing on the 27" CRT TV in the basement with my brother. Technically, it was my N64, so I always got to use the gold controller that it came with. We sat on the carpet within feet of the giant wooden TV cabinet, because the cords weren't very long. My dad was a carpenter and only recently refinished the basement with tongue and groove cedar. I still remember the smell of the wood and the sound of the furnace clicking on down there. He even cut a crescent moon into the bathroom door as if it were an outhouse.

We liked to play Golden Gun in the temple. We even made up our own games within the game, like hide and seek. Back then he was my best friend. He made some life choices that were different from mine. We were never as close as when we played that game. We're not in a bad spot or anything, but those days now just memories.