Just in case, the bidet type they were describing attaches to the toilet directly. No waddling required.

I'm also not sure about you but when it comes time to dry for me it's 1 "normal use" wipe. Maybe it's a matter of aiming the water so you're not splashing all over yourself? Could also be that (by the sounds of it) you have the full scale bidet where you're meant to dry with a towel? I don't really know much about those ones.

I use the developer edition and it has a neat blue variant of the logo.