I think some of them are pretty good! My favorites are the Ciaphas Cain series and Eisenhorn series. Gaunts Ghosts is also good if you want a more serious military read. If you want non-humans, check out "The Infinite and the Divine". It's about necrons (highly advanced ancient space robots/terminators).

I think he might be referencing those "I'm a Mac. And I'm a PC" commercials

I think you're confusing training it with running it. After it's trained, you can run it on much weaker hardware.

Did you check the actual TV settings? Some of them let you adjust where picture is displayed iirc.

It's a really big poop.

Or try carbon steel pans. Very similar to cast iron, but much lighter.

into the labels found on the rind

The labels are directly on the rind of the cheese - not on a sticker or something.

He meant that you'd have to start fathering children at 14 so that you could have 4 of them under 18 by the time you turn 18, which would be the age for military service.

What makes that a bad thing?

You could look at the 40-45" LG OLED TVs.