I'm basically with you on all of that, except it still sounds better than renting.
Also, I don't have kids, but I see a lot of folks buying houses in suburbs "for the schools". In affluent towns where the math you're describing is the worst, renting often isn't even an option. Also a lot of those parents will sell and move the second their kids graduate high school. All of that is way cheaper than private school, especially for multiple kids.