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submitted 6 months ago by nave@lemmy.ca to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[-] callmepk@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago
[-] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 0 points 6 months ago

Supernatural entities stealing children adapting to the times lmao.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 0 points 6 months ago

Hell has the best wifi because it doesn't give a fuck about FCC regulations.

[-] Norgur@fedia.io 0 points 6 months ago

Or Covid /s

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Except that would mean awful wifi. FCC regulations stop ISPs for selling a worse product for more money to people with little to no choice in providers.

[-] jlh@lemmy.jlh.name 0 points 6 months ago

That's definitely true, and a good point to make. But yeah, the joke was that wifi signals can be stronger if they aren't limited by the FCC's radio power limits.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

wifi signals can be stronger if they aren't limited by the FCC's radio power limits.

I'm no radiologist (and video didn't kill me), but I'm pretty sure that radio waves tend to struggle underground..

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

Nothing a bit more wattage can't fix

The routers antennas probably fit well into hells surroundings with their soft, reddish-white glow

[-] badbrainstorm@lemmy.today 0 points 6 months ago

Found the bunker

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

When you come face to face with an armed guard and the large steel door of the bunker that he's protecting, just let him know it was the Wi-Fi leading you there.

That's why everybody shows up.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 0 points 6 months ago

Interstellar, Fallout, or something else?

[-] lath@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Probably SCP. There's a file for everything in there.

[-] wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

POV: you're on the 900 level at Cerro Gordo

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Someone finish the creepypasta this is begging to be the start of.

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

AI attempted it:

Title: The Signal in the Abyss

In the heart of a dense forest, nestled between towering trees and hidden beneath the earth, lay a cave. It was rumored to be bottomless, its depths shrouded in mystery and whispered tales of the unknown. Many dared not venture into its darkness, fearing the unknown that lurked within.

One fateful night, Mark, an adventurous soul with a penchant for exploration, decided to defy the warnings and delve into the depths of the cave. Armed with only a dim flashlight and his smartphone, he stepped cautiously into the yawning mouth of the cavern.

As he ventured deeper, the darkness enveloped him like a suffocating blanket. The beam of his flashlight struggled to pierce through the thick shadows, casting eerie shapes upon the damp walls. Yet, despite the oppressive darkness, Mark noticed something peculiar – his phone’s signal strength was steadily increasing.

With each step he took into the abyss, the bars on his phone climbed higher, until he was met with a full five-bar connection. Astonished, Mark paused to check his phone, expecting to find some rational explanation for the sudden surge in signal strength. Instead, he found himself greeted by a stable internet connection and lightning-fast WiFi speeds.

Intrigued by this bizarre anomaly, Mark pressed on, his curiosity overriding his sense of caution. The deeper he ventured into the cave, the stronger the WiFi signal became, until he found himself in a chamber bathed in an otherworldly glow.

Strange symbols adorned the walls, pulsating with an ethereal energy that sent shivers down Mark’s spine. Yet, amidst the eerie ambiance, his phone continued to buzz with notifications and messages, as if beckoning him further into the unknown.

Driven by a mix of fascination and fear, Mark pressed on, his footsteps echoing through the silent chambers of the cave. But as he ventured deeper, he began to notice subtle changes in his surroundings – whispers echoed through the darkness, and shadows danced just beyond the reach of his flashlight.

Despite his growing unease, Mark was determined to uncover the source of the mysterious WiFi signal. But as he rounded a corner, he stumbled upon a sight that froze him in his tracks.

Before him stood a towering figure, its form shrouded in darkness. Glowing eyes peered out from the shadows, fixating on Mark with an intensity that sent a chill down his spine. Yet, despite the fear that gripped him, Mark couldn’t tear his gaze away from the figure.

In a voice that seemed to reverberate through the very walls of the cave, the figure spoke, its words dripping with malice.

“Welcome, traveler, to the heart of the abyss. You seek the source of our signal, but know this – once you have crossed this threshold, there is no turning back.”

With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Mark realized that he had stumbled upon something far beyond his comprehension. But before he could react, the figure lunged forward, its outstretched hand enveloping him in darkness.

And as Mark’s screams echoed through the depths of the cave, the WiFi signal continued to pulse, a beacon of light in the heart of the abyss, beckoning others to venture into its depths, never to return.

[-] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago

That... sounds like half the /r/nosleep stories I've read except it didn't take 10 months of drawn out exposition and cliffhangers

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

lol, almost worth a read. Almost.

[-] slaacaa@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Item #: SCP-███

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-███ is to be contained within a secure research facility located in ████████ National Park. Access points to SCP-███ are to be monitored, and unauthorized entry is prohibited. Exploration of SCP-███ is restricted to Level 3 personnel or higher, equipped with GPS tracking devices and standard exploration gear. Psychological evaluation is mandatory for all personnel before and after exploration.

Description: SCP-███ is a cave located within ████████ National Park, with an entrance disguised as a natural rock formation. The interior of SCP-███ exhibits anomalous properties, including the presence of a WiFi network with fluctuating signal strength.

The WiFi network is broadcasting from within the cave,m and has no identifiable source. The signal strength increases the further one ventures into the cave, peaking at approximately 200 meters below the surface. GPS devices and compasses malfunction within SCP-███, and individuals may experience disorientation and temporal distortion.

SCP-███ was discovered by a hiker (Subject-███-Alpha) who became lost approximately 1 hour after entering the cave. The Subject utilized a smartphone equipped with a signal strength tracking application to navigate SCP-███. They failed to return, prompting Foundation intervention.

Efforts to locate Subject-███-Alpha within SCP-███ have been unsuccessful. Further exploration and research into SCP-███ are ongoing to understand its anomalous properties and potential hazards.

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[-] _sideffect@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Satan's WiFi

[-] Glowstick@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Seriously though, if you're lost in a cave you should probably stop walking any further. Just sit down and wait for rescue. And if you have any signal obviously call for help

EDIT

Here's what chat gpt says:

If you find yourself lost in a cave, here are some steps to follow:

  1. Don't panic. Stay calm to think clearly¹.
  2. Use any available light sources like a mobile phone or watch¹.
  3. Protect your electronics by keeping them dry, such as in a ziplock bag¹.
  4. Follow the airflow. Airflow can indicate an exit¹.
  5. Look for cave clues. Caves may offer signs that can guide you¹.
  6. Stay warm. Wear layers and keep dry to avoid hypothermia¹.
  7. Mark your path. Use rocks or other markers to indicate the direction you've come from¹.
  8. Stay together if you're in a group. There's safety in numbers¹.
  9. Avoid wandering randomly. Stick to known paths or follow the cave wall⁵.
  10. Shout for help periodically if you think others might be nearby⁶.

Always let someone know your plans before exploring a cave and bring the proper equipment. If you're prepared and stay calm, your chances of finding your way out safely are much higher¹.

Source: Conversation with Bing, 3/21/2024 (1) How to Survive in a Cave: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow. https://www.wikihow.com/Survive-in-a-Cave. (2) undefined. https://cavinglife.com/what-to-do-if-you-get-stuck-in-the-cave-8-steps-to-follow/. (3) undefined. https://startcaving.com/caving-guides/escape. (4) . https://bing.com/search?q=what+to+do+if+lost+in+a+cave. (5) How To Survive If You're Trapped In A Cave - Survivopedia. https://www.survivopedia.com/how-to-survive-if-youre-trapped-in-a-cave/. (6) How Do You Survive Getting Lost in a Cave? | MapQuest Travel. https://www.mapquest.com/travel/survival/wilderness/survive-lost-in-cave.htm.

[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

I don't trust people who take answers from chatgpt seriously

[-] Restaldt@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago

Yeah for real whats up with number 5

I am not a part of Mystery Inc. and don't solve crimes in caves

[-] duplexsystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 6 months ago

I love cave clues

[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 0 points 6 months ago

It's like Blue's Clue but cave. Just enter Detective Mode and you will see the hint.

[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 0 points 6 months ago

That's a rock fact!

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

Oh hell no I know you did not just query ChatGPT for cave survival advice after seeing a meme about underground 5g wifi lmao this generation is done for

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

There’s a giant netgear router

[-] Senseless@feddit.de 0 points 6 months ago

The mother of all netgear routers. That's where all baby netgear routers are made

[-] Raxiel@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Then you hear a skittering in the darkness before you're devoured by a swarm of these things

[-] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Is it now the norm to make the term WiFi synonymous with the term cellular/mobile data (or 4g/5g)

They are not the same thing.

Is this like when people call tablets ipads? Or call vacuums hoovers/dysons.

[-] swab148@startrek.website 0 points 6 months ago

Maybe someone has a router down there

[-] Michael717@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Stone age people probably. Or a bear.

[-] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Well, that sort of highlights my issue and why i assume they meant mobile data. If they are, in the joke, connected to WiFi, then they wouldn't be surprised by the signal strength. Because they are near a router and therfore the signal is good enough to use. You aren't typically able to connect to WiFi if the signal is below -70 -80 decibels.

I think its fairly clear that they meant mobile data as this is something you would be surprised to still have if you were lost in a cave.

Not that i wouldn't be surprised to find WiFi down there, just that i wouldn't be surprised by the strength of the WiFi signal if i was standing close enough to a router to see the SSID.

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[-] Obi@sopuli.xyz 0 points 6 months ago

I'd say these examples are different, more like Kleenex where brand names become the common term. This is more like when parents used to buy a Wii game for your "playbox station".

[-] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

There is a term, that I am too lazy to search, that when a brand or technology is so widespread or used, that the name of the brand or technology becomes the word used to describe anything that ressemble that brand or technology.

Wi-Fi and iPads are definitely some of those.

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[-] UnityDevice@startrek.website 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's like calling all fuel diesel.

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[-] mrfriki@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

He’s about to reach the secret core control room.

[-] dragnucs@lemmy.ml 0 points 6 months ago

They have Wi-Fi in caves now?

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[-] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 6 months ago

Ok, but how'd they take the picture of the phone?

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[-] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 0 points 6 months ago
[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 months ago

How the hell did you get my address

[-] derpgon@programming.dev 0 points 6 months ago

Hey, it does not work me, getting ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED. Do you have an alternative site I can check speed to myself? Thanks in advance.

[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 0 points 6 months ago

http://localhost

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[-] FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago

Moria is already on Wifi 8

[-] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 0 points 6 months ago

You're probably best the Batcave(TM)

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

Yeah, but they're still filled with grues.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 6 months ago

They've got light. For now.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

If that light isn't from a glowing elvish sword, they're definitely in trouble.

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this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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