Also, the Jewish God and Muslim Allah are on the International Space Station.
This is the right amount of crazy that I'm not sure if it's honest or parody for this country.
Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he's in my heart, checkmate atheists.
Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.
Which country?
The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.
That's not Jesus in your heart, it's a worm
Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?
God: All knowing and all powerful But wait, satellites, oh no!
Bulletproof logic
This isn't real, right? RIGHT!?
Is this a parody account? It's impossible to tell anymore.
I kind of hope it's real. Down that path at some point they'll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it's a win for the rest of us.
You obviously never got stuck behind a horse and buggy on the road and it shows.
Funny how this is a Twitter post as half of all satellites orbiting earth (5581 out of 11300) are owned by Musk.
No, you're mistaken. Lonnie is on the Right, which means his satellites reflect and amplify prayers. Or at least get a pass. He hates LGBTQ people, so he's "good." /s
No need for /s because that's exactly how it works.
"If you hate the right people and say the right things, you are Good People, and Good People can't do no wrong. If you're not one of the Good People, you can do no right. Laws and rationalizations are there to punish those that are not Good People."
So NASA is using the Jewish space lasers to destroy prayers? Those heathens!
That sounds like the story of those Christians who were afraid of lightning rods because it might interfere with their God's ability to punish people by lightning.
Or the ones who thought street lighting was demonic. This pattern has basically occurred repeatedly throughout history
I consider these associations of QOL improvements with mythical characteristics attempts of narrative control, with which religious leaders could exert power over new developments. My assumption is that previously, organised religions were powerful and agile enough in their narrative that those new development could be held in control of the religion, but with the beginning of exponential and distributed knowledge production they were kinda outnumbered and became as weird as they are today. I have no motivation or sources to back this up, though.
Isn't God supposed to be all-powerful and omnipotent?
yes but he doesn't want to interfere with our precious free will, starvation and rape be damned
we just have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps
Satan wins again. At this point the Christians have to admit they chose the losing side.
I mean this God of theirs is shit, can't even get around satellites, didn't think humans might beat their cocks raw despite seeing it constantly in Human 1.0 (Chimps), or that they might eat fish on a Tuesday or whatever. Even Jesus was fucking a whore and he was God incarnate.
Also God invented Cancer.
"Satellites block God's ability to watch us"
The omniscient, omnipotent god is defeated by a piece of space trash? What a rip-off.
Same God that 'decided' a year shouldn't land on a whole day. Threw in that .25 for shits and giggles.
Since when does God live in space? He lives in the cloud since the people who invented christianity where morrons who didn't know any better like Everyone in that time period. So now suddenly they accepted space and that God moved over there over 2000+ years living in the clouds, on a planet that is millions of years old.
Special people.
He lives in the cloud?
No wonder he always seems to need money. His AWS bills must be enormous.
it's all part of the con. god doesn't have an aws bill. incoming traffic is null-routed, as god doesn't give a shit and never responds; and senders pay their own bandwidth.
Don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing as satellites, they can't possibly exist. What do you think they do, hang them from the firmament?! That's just crazy talk. This man clearly has no idea what he's on about.
(in case it wasn't obvious, /joke)
Let satelites be the next god( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Children of time
Are you sure you are listening on the right wave band? God has moved to the 2.3GHz L-band allocated for DAB.
If prayers were detectable, interceptable, and alterable, there'd be entire branches of science dedicated to them.
There are! I did my research!
This is either (1) satire, (2) trolling, or (3) someone who has no real grasp of Christianity. Or some combination of the above.
God: Almighty being that just blinked everything into existence in a.week Also God: me am no completent enourgh to strip theses sattrilghts
God's some real weak mofo if he can be defeated by satellites.
Hooman r haz stronkest tec
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