Absolutely! You don't have any say in what family you are born into, they might be good, might suck ducks, more likely somewhere in between. You can choose family that are not biologically related to you, and love them as purely or even more so than you do biological family. Many refer to their close friends as chosen family for this very reason. Love who you love and be happy, no matter who may try to piss on your happiness.
This brings to mind the saying: " The blood of the covenant is stronger than the water of the womb." Which means the relationships you CHOOSE are often stronger than the ones you're born into. If your found family supports and loves you but your biological family doesn't, then your true family is your found/chosen family. You don't need to associate with people who mistreat you.
Was skimming the thread to see if someone had already said this.
I'm adopted and know both my mothers. Birth mom didn't want me at put me up for adoption and my mother adopted me. Birth mother came around when I was 25 wanting me back even though I'd never met her, I knew she wasn't MY mom. I want nothing to do with my birthmother because she was just a vessel for me to end up with my real mom.
If you feel that pull from your heart that this person is your mother, then she is ( as long as everyone's cool).
I am both happy and sad for you, as your birth mom was/is someone coming back to claim you. And your adopted mom loves you, absolutely, from your comments I am sure of that.
I love this woman I referred to, as a mom.
My birth/bio mom now is in a severe state of dementia, and my "bio" family refused to accept that until I had managed to pull her through a thorough investigation by several doctors and clinics. Apparently, according to her, I am the one child who loved her the most. And I don't love her. She has been an abuser all of my life, up until now that she can't even remember doing it. This prompted me to write my post previously. Because I still feel conflicted. I love someone else as a mom. All I feel for my birth mom is utter pity.
You are a lovely soul. Do not ever forget it.
Your siblings and cousins are gaslighting you.
Your feelings are valid.
If you love someone more than your mother as a mother, then you love that person more than your mother as a mother. That's totally fine.
Many LGBTQ+ people have to create their families out of caring people that they meet and come to love and trust, because their families reject and hate them. Those bonds are as valid (and in some cases many times more valid) than bonds of mere blood.
I love her, but is it true love to love someone as a mother if they aren’t your biological mother?
Do you think a child that was adopted, but never told it was adopted, would love its parents any less than children of biological parents?
No, they wouldn't. Because emotions are not in any way influenced by our "blood relations." If that actually influenced love, there would be far fewer shitty parents in the world.
Your motherly figure doesn't have to be your blood mother
Growing up, I always hated my uninvolved authoritarian parents. For some unconscious reasons, I picked up on Richard Dawkins as my fatherly figure, although he is the age of my grandfather now and I never met him inperson. I loved the way he charmingly calmly and rationaly replied, not because "I said so". I loved that he was successful. I loved his non-snarky absolute confident way of looking and talking. I really looked up to him
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