25
submitted 10 months ago by Lamb@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

This isn't about grieving, just assuming the complete absence of your family and all the inheritance.

I'd pay off my medical debt and go back to university. I'm so tired. I just want to learn and stop struggling. I don't even qualify for my own debt so I have to have it in someone else's name, being bound to an abuser...

top 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 30 points 10 months ago

I'm pretty sure my family is poor so you know I would finish my grieving process and then go back to work

[-] mofongo@lemm.ee 17 points 10 months ago

That’s dark man. I hope your situation gets better.

I am still very dependent on my family so I would probably not be able to continue to study and have to get a job somewhere.

[-] Arin@kbin.social 15 points 10 months ago

Can you refuse inheriting debt?

[-] TenderfootGungi@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Yes. But you can also get on the hook for it. For example, there are laws in my state for small estates. It lets the family take over assets like a checking account without going through probate that often takes over a year. But if you do so you also take on any debt, even if you don’t know about it. It is better to just go through probate.

It is also why you should not pay the funeral expenses for someone that dies.

[-] Thavron@lemmy.ca 2 points 10 months ago

Generally, yes, but it's all or nothing. So you can refuse inheritance of debt but you won't get anything else then, either.

[-] ares35@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

i would hope the debt doesn't pass-down. whatever the estate(s) can pay, gets paid. then that's it, and any remaining gets written-off.

[-] Lamb@lemmy.zip 2 points 10 months ago

I suppose it depends on the country, although I'd assume so. I'm from a very poor background, but both of my parents became landlords through being from a generation where purchasing housing was still plausible. I suspect they will outlive me with the stress of my life combined with inborn conditions wrecking my body anyway. I hate my debt so much. :(

[-] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

At one point the VA assured me that a veteran's medical debt is to the government and is not released simply because the veteran passed away.

Even things like the cable bill took months to resolve because we didn't want to pay for services that weren't needed after death. (It's hard to find and cancel every account for someone who died and didn't keep track of things.)

[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 10 months ago

I doubt anyone in my family has enough in their estate to cover the costs of their funerals.

[-] ctobrien84@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

How bold of you to assume that most people will inherit money and assets.

[-] livus@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
  • I would grieve and no longer enjoy life at all.

If you want to daydream about what you would do if you came into a lot of money it's better to use a scenario where it's not contingent on something horrific happening.

Also, some people would only inherit debts.

[-] Lamb@lemmy.zip 4 points 10 months ago

I have no positive emotional ties with my family.

[-] livus@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago

@Lamb yes, I can see that. It sort of sounded more like a cry for help than a fun writing prompt.

I'm really sorry you're in that situation. If the idea of their deaths seems pleasant to you, I hope you are able to go low contact or no contact with them. The inheritance might not be worth being treated badly.

[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago

What inheritance? Gosh, when privileged people get all emo and ponder death, it always leads to money. ☠️

[-] nx2@feddit.de 6 points 10 months ago

Become Batman?

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

im married so you mean everyone? wife, kids, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins??? A few times some folks have put together an extended family reunion so all of them? Wifes side of the family too?? I think I would sit at the foot of the stairs and have a smoke although I would have to bum one from a random stranger since I don't smoke.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

I’d put $100 in savings and use the rest to pay my phone bill next month.

[-] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago
[-] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

You should speak to a counselor.

[-] toasteecup@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Pay off my debt and stop caring about my salary as much. Probably pay more PTO on a yearly basis to enjoy some free time galavanting here and there.

[-] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 3 points 10 months ago

I would retire and travel.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago

probably buy a stick of gum.

[-] protist@mander.xyz 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Why do you think someone holding debt for you means you're "bound" to them?

[-] Lamb@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 months ago

Because I cannot cut ties due to the debt.

[-] Karlos_Cantana@sopuli.xyz 2 points 10 months ago

I really don't know what I'd do with a 1978 Ford LTD.

[-] essellburns@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago

What would I do with the inheritance? 🤔

Treat myself to a takeaway, except now I could afford to get it delivered!

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

"You know what? I'll have the breadsticks AND the cheesy poppers. My family died."

[-] peanuts4life@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago

Your situation sounds like it has some red flags. It might be worth asking Lemmy specifically for advice on that and get an outside opinion.

As for the question? My parents own a house. I'd make it a home for my few friends who can't afford one and move on in.

[-] Fleur__@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Internally celebrate, publicly mourn

[-] Lamb@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 months ago

I wouldn't celebrate myself, but I wouldn't mourn either. The only thing having me in contact with my family is my debt and for them the social expectations and I guess having someone to verbally abuse comes in handy as well.

[-] _haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

Cry and miss my family. Also the debt thing.

[-] pan_troglodytes@programming.dev 2 points 10 months ago

do the same thing I'm doing now. probably work less, and retire earlier though.

[-] starbreaker@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

Pay off my debts, get a divorce, park my half in index funds, quit my day job, and live off the interest.

[-] Crankpork@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago

First thing I’d do is panic, because who’s left to help me plan the funeral and everything else? I had a lot of help with my father’s estate and it was still a nightmare. I couldn’t even imagine doing that with nobody to help.

[-] spdrmx@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago

Well I guess I’ll just pay back all the debt I got as an inheritance

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Nothing as it wasn't enough to do anything with, my mom's goal was to have enough to last so we didn't have to pay anything on her behalf and didn't get anything.

If you are asking what I'd do with a windfall? First pay off any and all debt but the house. Then if there was more, pay off the house. If there was more, renovate the house, if there was more, save it for retirement, and keep working, wouldn't change my lifestyle much as it's already pretty comfortable except for money worries. So I guess would also hopefully worry less.

[-] HarriPotero@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I guess I'd sail my late brother's yacht for a season before I sell it. Could be nice to explore a new area without having to spend weeks on getting my own (bigger) yacht there.

I'd also inherit a couple of airbnb rentals, so I guess those would be business as usual. There'd be a couple of family houses to sell as well, I guess I'd invest those back into rentable real estate.

[-] Moneo@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Bahahaahaha fuck you ❤️

[-] ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Basically my entire family did die and I got half the inheritance... I'd prefer the family, to be honest. I had to deal with multiple estates and all the paperwork as it wasn't complicated enough to require legal assistance. It wasn't exactly "fuck you" money but it was a solid enough chunk.

I haven't done a great deal, paid off my student loan (UK amount, not a US insane amount) and renovated the family home so it is fit for habitation. Invested some more and just focused on remaining financially stable while probably giving more regular contributions to charity than I would have. I remain as frugal as I was before, probably to a fault.

[-] theKalash@feddit.ch 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I think the most value would be a in a couple of houses ... so I'd have to learn about real estate or hire someone to liquidate them, which would be annoying.

[-] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 1 points 10 months ago

Literally nothing would change

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Probably just survive better. I might also invite people I know to live nearer to me.

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

How far is the family dying? Like immediate family, extended? If just immediate family, I think I actually make more than all of them put together so my finances probably wouldn't change that much (tech job vs. everyone else having small town service jobs). I'd get a partially paid for house in a town I don't want to live in so yay? Maybe I'd rent it for super cheap to a struggling college student or something idk, feels like that would be better than selling it. If we're talking extended family though a bunch of them are architects and shit they're totally loaded. I'd liquidate everything, dump several million into some kind of capitalist money making system, and set myself up to move to another country and eventually retire there.

[-] TenderfootGungi@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago

There is help out there for those that seek it. Nobody should be bound to an abuser.

[-] MomoTimeToDie@sh.itjust.works -1 points 10 months ago

Live it up since I would have no reason to keep working

this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
25 points (74.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43399 readers
1215 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS