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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by festus@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

You can assume that for every day you take the pill you don't age that day - if you skip it for a day you age by a day.

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[-] peter@feddit.uk 86 points 1 year ago

I put stuff up my ass that doesn't even stop me aging

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[-] Blake@feddit.uk 81 points 1 year ago

Yes, probably. I also really enjoy the idea that you think that it being a suppository would factor in to the calculus at all, I think it’s really funny

Fellas, is it gay to put immortality up your ass?

[-] PeachMan@lemmy.one 31 points 1 year ago

The mildly homophobic nature of the question is hilarious. "Would you want to live forever if you also had to be a little bit gay????"

[-] Blake@feddit.uk 33 points 1 year ago

It’s not even slightly gay to use a suppository either, it reminds me of the guys who think it’s gay to clean their ass because it’s gay to touch an asshole.

[-] lars@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I don’t have anything against the straights. I’m not a heterophobe – I’m a real cool dude — but when those people talk about not washing their asses, it’s only natural for us to feel a little bit of heterophobia against their lifestyle.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 points 1 year ago

Please don't lump us in with those people. That's not a "hetero" thing it's just a disgusting person thing.

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[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 9 points 1 year ago

See, I'll go out on a limb and say it's not gay for a man to engage in prostate play. Even having sex with another man isn't necessarily gay!

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[-] Ryantific_theory@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I'd be uncomfortable, but immortality is immortality.

Now, if the requirement was a daily barebacking by the ultra-rich engineering their cum to be the elixir of immortality, I'd be a little more conflicted.

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[-] BaumGeist@lemmy.ml 67 points 1 year ago

What kind of horseshit twist is that? Are you literally 14, OP? "There's an immortality pill, but OH NOES 😱 it goes in your BUTT 💀💀💀!!!!" Have you considered writing for Black Mirror?

I'm taking it even if it's the size of a horsecock, regardless of which hole it goes in.

[-] z00s@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

What we've learned from this exercise is that Baumgeist takes horse cock up the butt.

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[-] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 1 year ago

Who would say "no" to this??

[-] makuus@pawb.social 19 points 1 year ago

The same kind of people who don’t wash their ass because they think it would make them gay.

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[-] MJBrune@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago

People think suppository is a 4 letter word. "Oh put something in my colon for immortality?! Never!" Honestly the world would be best without that sort of thinking.

[-] tbhall77@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago
[-] the_third@feddit.de 10 points 1 year ago

If subconscious fear of rectal insertions is what finally makes conservatism an evolutionary downside, so be it.

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[-] Pantherina@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago

People that dont want to experience climate and societal collapse I guess

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Theres a lot of places I would gladly insert a lot of things if it stopped aging

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

Seems like a no brainier. You'd get used to taking it.

[-] StenSaksTapir@feddit.dk 39 points 1 year ago

I bet with time you could just hold the pill flat on your hand, reach back and your asshole would gobble it up like a horse.

[-] Blake@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago

This wasn’t a sentence I was expecting to read in my entire life.

[-] Ryantific_theory@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

People say AI start hallucinating bizarre sentences is a problem, but I'm beginning to wonder if it simply gazed too deeply into the internet abyss.

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[-] Bell@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

Um hell yes. And if it were a suppository, we'd all quickly get used to some butthole time every morning

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 22 points 1 year ago

Are you guys not doing butthole time every morning!?

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[-] fubo@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Even those of us who don't enjoy putting things up our butts eventually get used to doing it anyway. It's just another body part.

(Folks, if your butthole hurts, go to the doctor already. Hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and other butthole problems are quite treatable. Don't let them get worse.)

[-] mojo@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago

Who is going to reject this?

[-] baronvonj@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago
[-] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

A suppository the same shape & size as a thermos.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

I think it looks more like a durian.

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[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

This is a definitely yes question. No other side effects? Sign me up!!

[-] ryan@the.coolest.zone 15 points 1 year ago

Sign me up. Even if there's side effects like nausea or whatever. I'll do whatever it takes to stop my bones hurting more every year.

[-] zhenyapav@lemmy.zhenyapav.com 6 points 1 year ago

But what if it doesn't make you younger? So you'll still stay your current age, with all the chronic stuff you already have.

[-] ryan@the.coolest.zone 6 points 1 year ago

I'm 34. Yes, my bones hurt, but it's not terrible and I'd rather stay 34 forever (or at least drastically slow my aging, like if there were serious side effects I could take one every two days and effectively double my longevity).

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[-] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Can I give one to each of my dogs as well?

[-] Wahots@pawb.social 13 points 1 year ago

Yes and yes.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Sure. By mouth, by butt, by injection, by patch, whatever. Yes.

[-] sp00nix@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago
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[-] Herbstzeitlose@feddit.de 10 points 1 year ago

What kinda question is this? I already take plenty of pills daily, I would do much worse things to not age.

[-] 8BitRoadTrip@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

I’d be taking them two at a time!

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[-] waterbogan@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Hell yeah, even in suppository form, which isnt super convenient but worth it for the benefit There is so much I want to do!

Appropriate song

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[-] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Only if the way of injection is a big cock

[-] toofpic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I'd take it even if it was a "put it into the cut in your arm" form

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[-] AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago

That depends, does it prevent me from dying at a normal age? If so fuck that I don't wanna outlive everyone I know and care about. If it just keeps me looking and feeling young, then sign me tf up my guy.

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[-] chahk@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

If I take 2, would that stop aging for one day and then reverse for another? Because I'm gonna need about 20 years worth of those up my ass, stat!

[-] CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work 6 points 1 year ago

Yes. Is the drug harvested from the brains of hyper intelligent whales from another planet? If so, then hell yes.

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[-] FARTYSHARTBLAST@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago
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this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
84 points (76.2% liked)

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