Fat

My fear of getting arrested for disturbing the public peace.

Because I'd look like this:

Personal dignity?

I don’t want to disappoint gay guys.

Gents, this is not for you; it’s for her. 🙂

Because I'm fat and ugly. I don't want to see it and trust me you don't want to see it either.

Beer belly

not being a hunk, for starters... but also it looks uncomfortable

I remember something about them being hunted to extinction

I don't have a younger sister I have to share clothes with.

I just realized that the examples in the meme leave out an important part of the ensemble: calf-high white tube socks with multicolor bands at the top.

If you're gonna rock it, rock it all the way.

Understanding dryer settings.

Being the first or second victim is a pretty good disincentive

We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.

I'm good with my plain black t-shirt that's long enough to serve as a dress because I'm fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I'm wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.

Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn't swim.

Aside from my slab o'flab making people wish my top had not been cropped, those daddy dukes look like junk-crunchers.

The shape of my body.

Girl, step into any sports themed gay bar. We are still dressing like this.

Because those hunks never survived the movie.

Because it’s considered “lewd” and “indecent” when I do it and I’m not allowed within 500 yards of schools anymore.

We live in a society.

Self-respect mostly (at least what's left of it).

No way, this is like wearing the red shirt in Star Trek.

Misses says my T-shirt tan ruins the look, not the dad bod ❤️

Lotta people here have some body dismorphia

It does seem like short shorts are coming back.

High fructose corn syrup

I don't want to be killed off like them?

I work IT in a construction yard and dont like the oil and slurry shit getting on my thighs when I have to fix the internet in the wash bay. Weekends are fair game but I'm a twink not a hunk so the pull off is different.

My fragile masculinity 😔

I could dress like that... for money.

It's too cold where I live