1
submitted 3 days ago by sag@lemm.ee to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[-] MrFloppy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Not looking, not looking at your penis at all. " ... "So sorry about your penis." [Little Britain]

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 days ago

Jokes on them, my dick information is already all over the web!

[-] Pika@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago

ooo so that's why they never seem to work, makes so much sense now! /j

[-] Zozano@lemy.lol 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

il_1588xN.1998833855_27ng-4090175647

That's why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!

[-] lud@lemm.ee 0 points 2 days ago

But does it need to be tamper proof as well?

[-] Zozano@lemy.lol 0 points 1 day ago

Its not just tamper proof, it's future proof!

One day they'll want to manually inspect your cock before getting on a plane.

Well I'm sorry Mr. TSA, my WMD is none of your business.

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 0 points 2 days ago

My pp information is public, Im not hiding anything - what are you people hiding??

[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

Jokes on them. They're gonna need a longer lens.

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 0 points 2 days ago

(awkwardly long zooming noises)

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago
[-] kamen@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

All is fine, but I'm still curious: how many do you have?

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

at least one. at most nine.

real shit, these things are mechanical turks. they really are cameras that are live streaming to centers in third world countries. when the poorly paid operator sees you're done, he sends the flush signal to the toilet. if you've ever been in a bathroom where the "sensor is broken" and it seems to flush at random, it's because they just keep flushing it periodically if they can't get a visual. real truth

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

We were just training AI flushers this whole time?

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

fwiw if it dont autoflush just press the smaller black dot

[-] tpihkal@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

How does no one I work with understand this?

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

My dick won't reach that high

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

sounds like a personal problem

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

Skill issue

[-] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

How else would we keep the girls out of the mens room? I personally am willing to give up a little privacy if it means protection from A foreign government, besides you don’t have anything to worry about as long as you have a dick, and to those arguing that those of us with smaller than average members might get thrown in prison unjustly I say just grow a bigger slong, Besides are people with small penis really men? I mean yeah technically it’s on there birth certificate but come on.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

Small penises are a lifestyle choice

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 0 points 3 days ago

Error: Please make sure your junk fills up the entire target area for accurate data collection.

[-] Speculater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

LMAO, jokes on them not going to be able to see mine without a microscope.

[-] MrGerrit@feddit.nl 0 points 3 days ago

"No data collected, subject not big enough to register. "

[-] trumpetmouth@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

glad I'm not alone here.

[-] mumblerfish@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

Damn. They are automating penis inspection day? What are creeps to do now?

[-] saruwatarikooji@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

We're suffering... How do you expect me to feed my family when I have to compete with HAL here?

[-] YakTrimmer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 3 days ago

I care a lot about my prickvacy!

[-] tpihkal@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

What does matter is length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.

[-] davidagain@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

I have so many questions. Are you measuring angle from the vertical or the horizontal? Whereabouts should I be placing the ruler for that tangent? Are we using metric or imperial units? If metric, is it square centimetres or kilograms per cm, and if it's imperial, is it square inches or ounces per inch per square degree?

[-] Avg@lemm.ee 0 points 3 days ago

Good luck, I encrypted my dick data.

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 3 days ago

They just forgot the cookie banner

[-] JoShmoe@ani.social 0 points 3 days ago

The only person that has the right to know what my pp burns like is me!

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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)

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