Dissociating, executive dysfunction and general existential dispair is a bitch. So yes, to answer your question, staring at a wall indeed. It's really hard to get in the shower and when I'm there it's hard to leave. But reading all of this has given me some encouragement. I'm gonna take a shower. :)

staring at the wall after I'm clean is like my zen moment man

Masturbate, with easy cleanup

I don't spend 15, but I do spend more than 5. In my case most of the time spent is lathering up, i.e. the time when the water isn't running. Do you count that in your five minutes? And how do you shave in the shower? Do you have a mirror in there? How doesn't it get all fogged up?

Edit: Now that I think of it, a small mirror in a shower could work, you simply have to pass it through cold water when you want to shave.

I have really long, thick, curly hair. My showers can easily take 45 minutes to an hour because of everything I need to do to wash, detangle, and finish my hair routine.

Shower beer. Amazing after a hot day mowing / at the pool / exercising / etc…