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Bussy?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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Maybe it's my man brain that's stupid, but can someone explain to me why "boy pussy" is so offensive that you give him the silent treatment?
Like, it makes zero sense. Wtf is a "boy pussy" anyways?
Am I too straight to understand this?
I don't want to offend, I genuinely do not understand. Help me out here.
Itz yo butthole
Disclaimer: this isn't really my thing, so I have kind of an outsider's understanding and may be incorrect. I'm sure someone will be happy to correct me if I'm wrong about something.
Ok, let's break this down a little. First of all: boy pussy, or "bussy", is not an actual biological orifice that exists, as you may have guessed. Rather, it's a slang term meant to convey the metaphorical sexual concept that a male asshole - usually belonging to a sub/bottom or twink (but the term can apply to anyone willing) - has become an erogenous zone, possibly (depending on usage in dirty talk) that it will never again fulfill any other purpose.
Naturally, since it is a BOY pussy, it's not something that you would find on a woman, so the man in this story, while having sex with his wife, let slip that he was fantasizing about having sex with someone else. This does not seem to be her issue, as she mentions that they are at least somewhat in an open relationship and so him having sex with another woman would not be out of the question. However, she seems to take offense at the idea that he is fantasizing about having sex with another man, which is not something they would presumably have discussed prior to opening their relationship.
Hope this clears things up a little. Cheers!
Okay fr, i think bussy also may refer to intersex vagina. I think sex slang is often described only along heteronormative boundaries and it can get annoying and confusing.
That's interesting! I've only ever seen it as slang for boy and/or butt pussy. I will fully admit that you're correct in that these terms tend to fall along the heteronormative gender divide and I try to keep these explanations as gender neutral as possible (though there's only so much you can do with "boy pussy"), so I'll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you.
Thank you! For some reason my brain didn't make the connection between the slag of "bussy" and "boy pussy".
Dunno why she would be upset by it in an open relationship, but okay.
I always thought Bussy was a portmanteau of Butthole and Pussy.
Because I've definitely heard people use it in context where I can't imagine they were talking about a "boy pussy"
Butt-pussy, boy-pussy, same thing isn't it? The etymology is slightly different but it has the same meaning, a butthole.
They missed this, but she’s upset because he’s imagining her as a man
Unless that's a surprise (that he likes men), I'm not sure how much of a problem that would really be.
But far be it for me to tell anyone what should and shouldn't upset them.
Even if he likes men, and she knew, being told that you’re thought of as the gender you’re not isn’t something most people want. Calling a girl a dude when they identify as a girl isn’t exactly flattering.
I mean, if I was getting fucked by someone and they were actively fantasizing about me being someone else, I would be upset, open relationship or no
He was imagining he was fugging another man while fugging her :DDDDD
Hi I just want to corrupt the children you tried to spare.
7 Dirty Words
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7 Dirty Words
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I wouldn't be offended by this, but other phrases about my body might offend me. As an example, the term "man boob" really disgusts me and makes me feel ashamed of my body. My wife knows this. If she said that during an intimate moment it could very well make me upset. It's hard to know how I'd react in the moment. It could be that he accidentally said "boy pussy" then didn't apologize or acted like it wasn't anything wrong. It could be that OOP was already very self conscious about their vagina and having it compared to an asshole (what "boy pussy" usually refers to in cis males) was upsetting.
Emotions are weird and often don't make logical sense. It's less important exactly why something was upsetting and more important to acknowledge that it was upsetting and apologize.
It's the butt. Also it is a bit offensive to be thinking about someone else in that context.
Saying "that boy pussy" might not be about another person, so I'm also not sure this should actually be offensive. He might just be thinking about anal sex while he is in a vagina.
I'm making a big assumption though:
I am not getting into a debate about the semiotics of anal sex with you or anyone else.
What is the internet even for then?
Doxxing people who express an opinion, Russian misinformation campaigns to get your racist uncle to vote, and illegal downloads mostly.
Too afraid?
Is it though?
hang on let me check the big bi handibook....
yep, it's ass.
edit:
I did not see that there was a second thing you could be responding to. I'll look that one up too....
yup, it's rude.
Not sure, you should gather more data. Next time you are with someone keep mentioning a different person. Share your results.
My results would be invalid because I don't participate in open relationships.
I don't have anything against such an arrangement, but I know myself, and knowing that my partner may be out, sleeping with another person would make me a very jealous person; normally, in a closed relationship, unless there is some kind of evidence of infidelity, I'm not jealous at all. I don't look for such evidence, and I do everything in my power to trust what my partner tells me as truth. My most significant rule in a relationship is that I will not lie to them about anything that matters, nor will I tolerate being lied to about the same. I'm up front about this arrangement with anyone I get involved with.
I have been in relationships where I've been lied to, and I have been in situations where there has been infidelity in the relationship (or at least, evidence it did or will happen). I did not like the person I became. So I tend to avoid situations where I could become that person.
I have not, nor would I allow myself to be in an open relationship. As such, I do not possess the mental fortitude to deal with my partner having intimate relationships with others. It's a character flaw that I don't seem to be able to get over, so I avoid it. Since I am not in an open relationship, it would not be a valid comparison, since there's factors in the OP that I cannot satisfy, and the results would not reflect a comparible situation.
All I can say is that I would imagine that in an open relationship, such things would be reacted to differently than in a closed relationship. Since I do not have the requisite experience necessary to know those differences, instead, I asked.
Instead of a genuine response I get sarcastic and snide replies about "how would you feel?", when I have no basis for comparison.
Thanks though.