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submitted 4 months ago by lemmylem@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I don't want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure there's the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess it'll come to me.

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[-] scorpious@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Some great advice here already! So I’m going to suggest something novel:

Consider “settling,” just a tiny bit. What I mean is, don’t be so quick to assess someone new as A Partner…potential or otherwise. Try letting gals in who are attractive enough and carry themselves well, seem sane, easy going, smart, etc. Shared values, that sort of thing. A female friend with potential, if you will. See where it goes; be open to being surprised, pleasantly or otherwise.

I’ve seen so many younger men “auditioning” mates with unrealistic expectations about “clicking” or “just knowing” — and winding up as older bachelors who have never even had a chance to practice being in a relationship.

Yes, like literally anything else worth doing/having, it takes practice!

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

This is good advice. The issue with modern dating is people treat other people like amazon products... they want a return/full refund over the stupidest most inconsequential shit and have 'requirements' that are often ridiculously rigid and superfluous. That and they want instant, zero effort gratification. During the early dates... if there is any awkwardness or imperfection... they believe this is intolerable. I've had dates make dinner for me and the dinner game out imperfect, but perfectly edible and good, and they harped on it so hard and broke up with me over it.

Not to mention the double standards. Sooo many people want someone who is better than them and meets standards that they don't meet.

this post was submitted on 06 May 2024
129 points (93.9% liked)

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