Yeah, but american history classes are, um...

So there's this guy in american history. We teach he was a great general who had wooden teeth and couldnt tell a lie and chopped down a cherry tree (seems out of place). Was a general in the revolution (he won a single battle. Ambushed some drunk mercenaries on Christmas eve), and despite being the richest man in the country he never paid his soldiers. His teeth were not wooden; they were real human teeth, taken from the mouths of slaves. Living slaves.