Exactly. I had to learn this too. I am unusual in a number of ways. When I treat people how I want to be treated I am often mistreating them and damaging the relationship. People are different and need different things. You have to communicate rather than unilaterally apply your self-empathy.

Yeah, there's a lot of things IDGAF about myself (like my birthdays, etc.) that make it easy to forget that for other people it means a lot. So even if I'm a cool acquaintance I'll be a shitty friend :(. I'm working on that